Skip to main content

Unspoken Words



I’ve never been a particularly quiet person but I remember being very fearful to share my opinion or an idea within a group of people. I recall scenarios in classes where everyone would be required to give an answer or share an observation regarding a particular subject or recent event. I can still feel the pressure mounting as I awaited my turn, sitting there in terror, wishing I could turn myself invisible or avoid the moment altogether with an aptly timed building fire or maybe a seizure. And yes, my hopeful escapes were that extreme.

I don’t think it was really the speaking in front of a group that bothered me so much. I know part of the issue was being afraid of the opinions of others, especially my peers. But I think the biggest obstacle was the potential to be WRONG in front of everyone, with my error in full view of my classmates and no ability to take it back. That’s what terrified me.

I know there are many times in life where I could have helped someone discover an answer or at least find the right question to ask. Instances where I could have encouraged someone and given them the boost they needed to move forward. I am sure I have been in scenarios in which I could have contributed my thoughts and maybe changed someone’s day or possibly even life for the better. Too often though, I have let these moments slip by, choosing to say nothing rather than utter the wrong thing. I chose not to act rather than risk erring.

Now, I realize foolishness abound in a multitude of words but there are times when someone must take a stand say what no one else is willing to mention or ask the questions others are wondering but won’t articulate. I think you all can relate but speaking for myself, I have passed by too many of those opportunities.

The intensity of regret, having that burning in my heart go unuttered, surpasses even the fear of being incorrect. Going forward, I have decided I would rather speak up and be wrong than pass through life in silence and anonymity.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Primed for Progress

Just as some pumps need to be primed to work effectively, our lives need to be “primed” to flow efficiently. Good mornings and productive days don’t happen by accident, and by “priming” your day, you can set yourself up for better results. Does it mean you won’t have bad days? Of course not, but it’s making your day happen instead of just waiting for what happens. Once again, it’s a choice of being proactive rather than reactive. You will still have challenges and difficulties, but how you face those hurdles and respond to the struggles will be different with a primed mindset. I am sure there are many ways to prime your day and set the tone for the hours ahead, and what works for one won’t necessarily work for all. However, the process of creating a plan or a model of how things should unfold is a great place for anyone to start. Also, as I have mentioned before, how you actually start the morning is critical - the battle with the alarm clock is your first chance at victory for

Flower Among Thorns

About six or seven years ago, my wife was around three months pregnant as we eagerly anticipated the birth of another child. One night, as I lay sleeping, I had a dream that our baby was born. It was a beautiful little girl with thin, wispy hair and large, bright eyes punctuating her beautiful face. I held her proudly in my arms and stared down at this precious little creation. I carefully handed her off to her older brother, who was just a toddler himself, as he sat on the coach, arms outstretched, anxiously awaiting the chance to hold his baby sister. I helped him prop up a pillow underneath his little arms to help support my daughter and then stepped back to take in the amazing sight as he gazed down at her with both pride and amazement in his eyes. As I stood there watching them, the dream quickly faded. When I woke up, my eyes met the tearful glance of my wife. “I’m bleeding,” she said as she fought back the emotions, “I think I am miscarrying.” Those words sunk deeply i