If You Can't Take it With You ...

I am a tad bit competitive and have been that way since I can remember. I still recall basketball, baseball and football games from my youth in which we narrowly lost, leaving me with a tremendous feeling of both guilt and frustration. Haunted by the thoughts of “what if I had just pushed a little harder,” the what-could-have-beens bothered me to no end.

At a commencement speech for a class of graduating college students, Denzel Washington reminded the graduates, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse,” painting an impactful illustration of the “you can’t take it with you” concept. He encouraged those young men and women to strive, above all else, to make a difference in the lives of those around them because that is a legacy that remains.

As I listened to his marvelous speech, I was reminded of those heart-breaking losses as a young athlete, and I think what he was saying is connected to what I felt after those games. The phrase we often hear regarding a big contest, “leave it all on the field,” also applies to life itself. If we can’t take it with us, the only logical alternative is to give it all we have here on earth and leave a legacy in the lives of those who remain after us. The stakes are much higher than any sporting event, so in life, we must leave it all on the field.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Glutton for Punishment

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this

Commitment

You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more presentat

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog