Mindset Matters

  In Malachi 1:6-7, the prophet relays the words of God to the children of Israel, condemning them for their shameful sacrifices: “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is My reverence? Says the Lord of hosts to you priests who despise My name. Yet you say, ‘In what way have we despised Your name?’ “You offer defiled food on My altar, but say, ‘In what way have we defiled You?’ By saying, ‘the table of the Lord is contemptible.’” The altar of God was defiled because the Israelites were not offering their best. Instead, they were “sacrificing” the blind and the lame of their flocks. They were trying to get by with the bare minimum. They were going through the motions. Rather than offering God their first fruits, they gave him their leftovers. You need not be religious to appreciate the importance of this passage. We all are tempted at times to hold back, to “mail it in,” as the saying goes.

  On April 23 rd , 1910, Teddy Roosevelt gave what would become one of the most well-known speeches of his career. A portion of that address, known as “The Man in the Arena,” provides a wonderful depiction of courage as Roosevelt contrasts the brave and daring souls who step “in the Arena” with the ubiquitous spectators who watch and criticize from the stands. Roosevelt notes that those in the Arena do not merely risk failure, they experience it. He does not mince words. He describes the courageous as someone “whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.” Setbacks and defeat are inevitable for anyone who seeks to venture out into the unknown to accomplish anything of importance. It will be accompanied by pain, hardship and rejection. It is not a matter of if, but when. That is what the Arena offers, not the potential for failure and heartache, but the pro

  In the words of the great 21 st century poet and philosopher, T.I., “What matters more than the mistakes you made is what you are able to learn from them.” We all make mistakes. We all fail. We all mess up. We all hurt people we care about. We all let others down. Mistakes are inevitable. Learning from them is not. Some are too stubborn to change and thus continue to duplicate past mistakes, perpetuating those errors into the future. Others, buried by guilt or shame, hesitate to do anything it seems. Rather than learn from the past, they are paralyzed by it. As T.I. further explains in the song, “Your pride is in the way.” Pride is what keeps you from benefiting from mistakes. By learning from past failures, you can improve and develop. By ignoring them, you are doomed to repeat them. Similarly, by being overcome by past mistakes, your growth is stunted as well. In either case, pride is in the way. Humbly examine past mistakes. Feel their pain, learn from them, but then move

  We are a very achievement-focused society. And while that certainly is not a bad thing – after all, having goals and a vision for the future is important – it also carries with it some inherent risks. When we are overly focused on achieving some milestone, we can miss the scenery along the way. We miss the process because of our fixation with the product. We delay satisfaction, fulfillment and even joy until some future event. But oftentimes, the chase is just as rewarding as the achievement. In many cases, it may even be more so. The achievement can be anti-climactic if we miss all sights and experiences along the way. We can be like the dog chasing a car: the pursuit is exhilarating, but we have no idea what to do next if we ever catch it. Our founding fathers listed three inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is no accident that only two of these they declared each citizen should have, the third was something we are to chase. It is the process we

Have you ever tried eating a toad for breakfast? And I am not talking about just frog legs. No, I’m talking about a fat, warty, slimy toad. Sounds disgusting, doesn’t it?   And that is kind of my point, beginning the day accomplishing something utterly unappealing and unappetizing. Maybe it is getting a jog in. Maybe it is doing your expense reports. It could be making sales calls or dialing an unhappy customer and facing possible rejection. Perhaps it is your math homework or a writing assignment.  We all have our “toads.” It is that difficult and disagreeable task you just do not want to do. It is the thing you often procrastinate doing because you have a hard time stomaching it. But the longer you stare at it, the uglier the toad becomes. So, you promise yourself you will eat two toads tomorrow to make it up. But we both know that is not going to happen.   Eat toad for breakfast. Begin your day with a hurdle. A challenge. An obstacle that is disagreeable. Because once that is done

  Do you ever let your future rob your present? Many of us spend unnecessary amounts of time paying attention to and worrying about speculations regarding the future. We watch economic and market forecasts, read about upcoming elections including polls predicting which candidate will win what, and we listen to commentary about what may or may not happen tomorrow and next month and next year. Then we have our own private worries about the future on top of it all. And it is not all bad news that steals joy from the present. We look towards future positive events and allow our impatience for their materialization to mute the joy we feel in the moment. “I’ll be more happy when …   I get that promotion, go on that vacation, finish this semester, etc.” Rather than wait in eager anticipation, we treat that future event as if it is a get-out-of-jail-free card from the prison of current circumstances. Please do not misunderstand, I am not advocating for a lack of planning and even sacrifici

  This past weekend I started the book, “Just Mercy,” by Bryan Stevenson. If you are not familiar with the story, it’s an autobiographical account of a young attorney who begins his legal career by taking on the cases of forgotten and ill-represented convicted felons, many of whom are on death row. What was both interesting and surprising to me was a common theme in the conversations Stevenson often had with these prisoners as they discussed their cases. Of course, these men on death row were looking to have judgements reversed, or at the very least, death sentences revoked and turned into “just” life sentences. But what they were really after was something deeper and more subtle. They were not really asking to be freed. More so, the death row inmates were wanting to have their stories listened to by someone who did not view them as they once were or as the monsters the prosecution made them out to be. They were seeking to be understood by someone with an open mind. They were desir

  For most of us, we know what we should do. But we are really good at coming up with reasons why we just shouldn’t do it right now . We know we should start a budget, clean the garage, join a gym, go to college, apply for that job, read that book or start that paper. We should do it, just not until later. We are too busy, too tired, too poor, too uneducated, too alone, too confused or too something . It is just not the right time. And then we lie to ourselves and make up a story about some “perfect time” existing in the future when all the stars will line up perfectly and the term paper will just effortlessly flow from our fingers in some utopian, distraction-free bubble. It’s been said that “procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.” We tell ourselves, “I will do it later,” but “later” can often become a euphemism for “never” as we create the habit of pushing things off to some undefined future date. You do not yet have next year, next month, next week or eve

  As summer has been rapidly turning into fall, we have had some rather stormy weather at our house over the last few days. High winds have brought unpredictable changes in patterns and we’ve gone from sunshine to driving rain very quickly as well as the reverse. It was one of those mornings during which a windstorm had pushed rain clouds from above our house to out over the city. It was quite an ominous sight as the dark clouds collected over downtown while sunlight struggled to push its way through. I was focused on the wind and the rain when my wife mentioned a rainbow climbing directly out of the storm. It wasn’t a normal arching rainbow either, this one appeared to go straight up and down. It was quite striking. Against the backdrop of the dark clouds and shadowy sky, it was somewhat faint. But now that I saw it, it was unmistakable. Until my wife pointed it out, I had completely missed the rainbow in plain sight. All I could see was a stormy sky. Yet, once I saw the rainbow

  I was talking to a retired physician this am who is struggling to lose weight. He very honestly admitted, “I know how to work out and I know how to eat right. I could teach this to anyone. But making myself do it is another matter.” We both agreed that achieving basic fitness isn’t a mysterious thing. It’s common sense. Unfortunately, in fitness and in life, common sense isn’t common practice. We all know we should eat more broccoli and less ice cream. We all know we should get up early and exercise. We all know we should spend less and save more. We all know we should watch less reality TV and read a book every now and then. We all know we should spend less time playing games on our phones and more time interacting with loved ones. But we don’t. Not because the things we should do are so complicated and difficult, but because those unproductive activities are just so darn easy. These positive tasks all require something akin to the concept of activation energy in chemistry and p

Have you ever noticed how couples seem to focus more on a wedding than they do on the marriage? It’s as if they looked at their wedding day as the finish line and not the starting gun (Although some couples, shortly after being married, wish they had a gun ... but I digress) And it’s not just marriages; kids celebrate being accepted into college as if that is the accomplishment. And how about serial entrepreneurs? These are guys who start up a new business every few months. And there’s a lot of people who “start” working out every January and then “donate” a nice monthly fee to support the gym’s activities in their absence from February on. We are a society that is all about the start. We start going to college, we start businesses and we start diets. We want our kids to have a good “start,” but seem to be far less concerned about where they end up. We are great about getting started. We are terrible at finishing.   Hospitals don’t typically seek out doctors who started medical school.

  There are many definitions for “discipline” ranging from punishment to education, but practically speaking, discipline is the hidden work that you do when no one is looking. It is the blood, sweat and tears you shed in private. It is the sacrifice you make for the long-term payoff. It is the effort you put in for the intrinsic satisfaction of the work itself. Discipline is the long nights and early mornings of studying so you can have the education to launch a productive career. It’s the countless hours of practice and hundreds of missed notes so others can enjoy a beautiful melody. It’s framing a house in the bitter cold so a family can have a home. It’s years of budgeting and saving so your family can enjoy security and experience financial independence. It’s thousands of miles run on dark, cold mornings so you have health and fitness. It’s years of sacrificing for and serving your spouse, including arguments and disagreements, so you can have a stronger marriage. People notice

  My day often starts with my phone alerting me it’s time to wake up, but daring me to hit snooze. Sometimes I try to justify to myself that if I give up some of my reading that morning, I would have a few more minutes to sleep. I also could make up some time by not writing my wife a note that morning. I told her I loved her when we were first married, I’m pretty sure she knows I haven’t changed my mind. Or I could skip part of my workout. Or just cut the warm-up (come on, I’m not that old yet, I don’t have to warm up). Even if I have plenty of time, there’s usually a point in the workout where I am tempted to cut a corner, to give in just this once. By the time I get to work, I’ve already been tempted to quit early or give in several times. But it’s not just this once. There’s a pattern, even a domino effect, that can set off a chain of events. If I begin the morning by giving in, even just a little, I set a very dangerous precedent for the rest of the day. And it’s more than just