Getting in a Groove

Have you “found your groove” lately? Or are you hoping to “get into your groove” soon? People talk about “hitting their stride” and “being in a groove” as this great goal - and it is - to a point. But there is a darker side to “finding your groove” that I don’t hear discussed very often.

I am sure you have heard people admit they felt “stuck in a rut” too, but what they probably didn’t mention, or maybe even recognize, was the “rut” they feel trapped in now was once the “groove” they so diligently sought. They got comfortable, then they got complacent, maybe even bored, and now the groove they cherished has been worn down into a deep rut from which they feel they can’t escape. Sometimes the only different between a groove and rut is how long you stay there.

When settlers started moving out West, the now famous Oregon Trail was only passable on foot or horseback, used by primarily fur traders originally. As the popularity of westward expansion grew, a wagon trail was cleared in the mid-1830s and became the route used by nearly half a million settlers, traders and miners for the next several decades. The trail became so popular and often-used that in some areas, wagon wheels wore deep ruts into the trail, even cutting into rocks. The ruts were so deep in some places that a wagon would be essentially trapped in the trench carved out by previous wagons. If an obstacle were to block the path, the wagon would not be able to steer around it. The wagon would need to be partially dismantled to remove it from the rut and repositioned on the opposite side of the obstacle. The lack of freedom and flexibility also left traveling settlers vulnerable to an attack.

A groove, if you remain there too long, becomes a comfort zone. A comfort zone is just a step away from being a rut. A rut steals your freedom, your flexibility and leaves you vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, it feels great to “find your groove," and it’s very difficult to avoid the temptation of settling into that groove and getting comfortable, but you have to resist that urge. You must surround yourself with people who will challenge you and hold you accountable. You have to be willing to accept feedback and criticism you may not want to hear. You must continue to stretch yourself. I hope you do “find your groove," but please, don’t stay there for long.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Primed for Progress

Just as some pumps need to be primed to work effectively, our lives need to be “primed” to flow efficiently. Good mornings and productive days don’t happen by accident, and by “priming” your day, you can set yourself up for better results. Does it mean you won’t have bad days? Of course not, but it’s making your day happen instead of just waiting for what happens. Once again, it’s a choice of being proactive rather than reactive. You will still have challenges and difficulties, but how you face those hurdles and respond to the struggles will be different with a primed mindset. I am sure there are many ways to prime your day and set the tone for the hours ahead, and what works for one won’t necessarily work for all. However, the process of creating a plan or a model of how things should unfold is a great place for anyone to start. Also, as I have mentioned before, how you actually start the morning is critical - the battle with the alarm clock is your first chance at victory for

Flower Among Thorns

About six or seven years ago, my wife was around three months pregnant as we eagerly anticipated the birth of another child. One night, as I lay sleeping, I had a dream that our baby was born. It was a beautiful little girl with thin, wispy hair and large, bright eyes punctuating her beautiful face. I held her proudly in my arms and stared down at this precious little creation. I carefully handed her off to her older brother, who was just a toddler himself, as he sat on the coach, arms outstretched, anxiously awaiting the chance to hold his baby sister. I helped him prop up a pillow underneath his little arms to help support my daughter and then stepped back to take in the amazing sight as he gazed down at her with both pride and amazement in his eyes. As I stood there watching them, the dream quickly faded. When I woke up, my eyes met the tearful glance of my wife. “I’m bleeding,” she said as she fought back the emotions, “I think I am miscarrying.” Those words sunk deeply i

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog