Focus on the Destination

My wife, Tiffany, absolutely hates to fly. I don’t mean it’s an inconvenience or an annoyance to her; I am talking about a full blown, has-walked-off-a-plane-moments-before-a-flight-departed, utter disdain for flying. It used to be so bad her anxiety would start building several days, even a week, before a flight.

For years she simply didn’t fly. But as our family grew and kids started hearing about this magical land of beaches and sunshine called “Hawaii”, the pressure mounted for her to get back on a plane. It wasn’t just the kids either; the cold, dark Alaskan winters also added some serious motivation to face her fears and start flying again.

In order to get on that plane headed to Oahu, Tiffany said she forced herself to envision kids playing on the beach and the beautiful ocean and warm sun. She had to look past the flight itself and direct her attention on why she was getting on the plane to begin with. Tiffany was focused on the destination.

It’s a natural reaction to dwell only on the current circumstances when things get difficult. Just like my wife on the plane, when the turbulence hits, it steals all of our attention and feels like it will never end. We get anxious and uncomfortable, forgetting where we are headed and why we ever started the journey in the first place. We get all caught up in the unpleasantness of our current situation. The conflict can get so bad we might redirect or maybe even turn back the plane.

Misplaced focus can distract and divert you away from your goals and objectives. It will also steal your joy along the way. It is impossible to completely avoid the turbulence of life, so it is necessary, rather, to accept it and learn how to manage it. You must remind yourself why you are on the flight. Learn to look beyond the difficulty. Focus on the destination.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Primed for Progress

Just as some pumps need to be primed to work effectively, our lives need to be “primed” to flow efficiently. Good mornings and productive days don’t happen by accident, and by “priming” your day, you can set yourself up for better results. Does it mean you won’t have bad days? Of course not, but it’s making your day happen instead of just waiting for what happens. Once again, it’s a choice of being proactive rather than reactive. You will still have challenges and difficulties, but how you face those hurdles and respond to the struggles will be different with a primed mindset. I am sure there are many ways to prime your day and set the tone for the hours ahead, and what works for one won’t necessarily work for all. However, the process of creating a plan or a model of how things should unfold is a great place for anyone to start. Also, as I have mentioned before, how you actually start the morning is critical - the battle with the alarm clock is your first chance at victory for

Flower Among Thorns

About six or seven years ago, my wife was around three months pregnant as we eagerly anticipated the birth of another child. One night, as I lay sleeping, I had a dream that our baby was born. It was a beautiful little girl with thin, wispy hair and large, bright eyes punctuating her beautiful face. I held her proudly in my arms and stared down at this precious little creation. I carefully handed her off to her older brother, who was just a toddler himself, as he sat on the coach, arms outstretched, anxiously awaiting the chance to hold his baby sister. I helped him prop up a pillow underneath his little arms to help support my daughter and then stepped back to take in the amazing sight as he gazed down at her with both pride and amazement in his eyes. As I stood there watching them, the dream quickly faded. When I woke up, my eyes met the tearful glance of my wife. “I’m bleeding,” she said as she fought back the emotions, “I think I am miscarrying.” Those words sunk deeply i

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog