Cool Whip Diet

I am standing in the kitchen putting groceries away and my wife shows me a container of Cool Whip, pointing to the expiration date which is about 18 months out. She says, “I am a little suspicious of dairy that doesn’t expire for a year. Probably unhealthy preservatives in there.”

Somewhat taken aback by her observation, I think to myself, “Really? You think maybe Cool Whip isn’t healthy? I don’t think anyone is masquerading Cool Whip as a nutritious superfood.” The product is literally just hydrogenated oil and cream mixed with sugar. That’s probably 99.5% of the ingredients! We shouldn’t be too surprised if the other half a percent is toxic preservatives or even rat poison.

Think about it, when people start talking about going on a diet, what are the foods they cut out? Dairy, hydrogenated fats and sugar are always at the top of the list. So, the food wizards at Kraft get together and decide, “Let’s take some highly processed oil, add the most unhealthy, fattening form of dairy, and then whip it up with a bunch of sugar!” There you go, that’s how Cool Whip was born. Other than its AMAZING taste on pumpkin pie, it has no redeeming qualities. I am sorry if I just burst your bubble, but I thought you should know.

I’ve got one more bubble to burst. These 24-hour news stations and apps aren’t there to inform you. They are designed to trigger an emotional response and keep you coming back for more “news” to increase views and clicks and sell advertising. Just like Cool Whip, the news media doesn’t have your best interest at heart. If you are careful, you may be able to find five to ten minutes of actual information crammed into a 24-hour news cycle. But it will be so buried by speculation, fear mongering, conjecture and sensationalism that anything useful will be next to impossible to decipher. Being misinformed is even worse than being uninformed.

So just be careful what you expose yourself to these days. I really don’t recommend a diet full of Cool Whip because it is terrible for your physical health and it would be sad without pumpkin pie. In the same way, a diet full of “breaking news” may be equally harmful to your mind. Just because you crave it doesn’t mean it’s good for you (I must remind myself of this quite often when it comes to pumpkin pie smothered in Cool Whip).

Don’t be afraid to turn off the TV, put down your phone and reduce the amount of noise, I mean, “news” in your diet.