Mindset Matters

I was recently challenged by a mentor to review the last few weeks and carefully examine my calendar over the past few weeks and divide it into two categories: acting or reacting. In the former, we are acting on something, while in the latter, something is acting on us. In one instance we are the driver, in the other we are the passenger. Deliberate, intentional action is a common marker of an impact person. I doubt that is news to anyone. Yet, most of our society is in a state of reaction. Whether it be an annoying boss, a frustrating commute, too much candy in the lunchroom, a distracting in-law or even the Coronavirus, many are content to let life just happen to them, rather than happening to life. Granted, we all need a certain amount of flexibility to “roll with the punches” as life will knock us around at times, regardless of how proactive we are. But the getting up and getting back on course only happens if we are intentional and deliberate in our actions. The r...

There are plenty of personal trainers with a potbelly. There are mechanics with broken down cars that barely run. There are hypertensive cardiologists who live on fried food and sodium. There are financial planners who have no financial plan and are drowning in debt. There are pastors and priests who hide their private lives behind their position in the church. There are estate attorneys with no will. This world is filled with people whose knowledge far surpasses their actions. What you do will always be more important than what you know. Don’t lean on the false security that knowledge can bring if it’s not also backed up by your actions. Also, don’t be overly concerned with what you don’t know. Rather, to use a corollary of James 4, focus on the good you know to do. And go do it.  

We all like to be comfortable. And once we attain a little bit of that comfort, we like to preserve it. So, we put up a barricade to protect us against those things we feel are most likely to put our comfort at risk. After a while, we add to that barricade, putting up a perpendicular wall to mitigate threats coming from other directions. Then we add another wall, and then another. Soon, we feel nicely protected from the many dangers to our comfort and well-being. But it’s not enough, so we put a roof over the enclosure, and now we are fully blockaded against the risks around us. But what we don’t realize is that we haven’t protected our comfort zone as much as we have built ourselves a cage. It limits and restrains us. It trades away our freedom and independence for a semblance of security. What was meant as a fortress of respite has now become a cell. We become imprisoned by our comfort zone. While you may be trapped in a prison of your own making, you also hold the ...

I woke up not really feeling like “bringing it” today. I am concerned about all the little, annoying things that I must get done today and this week. I am worried about all the tasks falling on my shoulders. I am borrowing troubles from my future. I am anxious about presentations and seminars I must prepare and give over the next couple of weeks. I am hung up on me and it’s killing my motivation and resolve.   I must begin to focus on others , on them , on you . And I don’t just mean you who are reading this. I mean everyone I come in contact this week. I’m referring to the individuals and families I meet with this week who are seeking guidance and direction. It’s everyone at the church I will present to this week looking for encouragement and education. It’s the audience at an event the next day who will be searching for clarity and confidence. It’s my family , looking to me for support and leadership. It can’t be about me. When I become more focused on m...

Life has a tendency to help you find what you are looking for. If you are looking for reasons to be scared or angry, you will likely find some. If you are seeking an excuse to be bitter or resentful, you’ll find that too. If you are exploring your case to be anxious, you will come across solid evidence. If you are searching for justification to lie, cheat or steal “just this once,” not doubt you will likely come across something to support that decision. If you are looking for proof that the world is out to get you and the odds are stacked against you, you will find that as well. If you are looking to prove you are a victim and helpless, you will likely build a strong case. And no matter how wonderful your spouse is, if you are trying to come up with reasons to be angry with him or her, I’ll bet you can identify at least a few things. But on the other hand, if you are looking for reasons to be grateful, even if your life is a struggle at the moment, you’ll probably find at le...

It seems to me, many of the mistakes in life fall under the category of making a bad deal with our future selves. You overeat today and Future You must work out more (or buy Lipitor) to counteract the Golden Corral buffet. You make a snide remark to your spouse, a statement Future You will have to clean up and apologize for. You cut corners on a project at work, forcing Future You to work overtime to fix the issues the shortcut caused. You overspend and go into debt, creating financial stress and additional budget expenses for Future You. And we all sometimes live as if that future version is someone else entirely: “Boy, Future Chad sure does have a lot of work to do and messes to clean up. I’m glad that isn’t me!” Future You is abstract and a difficult concept to wrap our minds around. You don’t know him (or her), you’ve never even met him, and you don’t know if you will even like him, so why sacrifice today to help out a complete stranger: Future You? When Future You is haz...

Through most any TV medical show or detective series, you have no doubt been introduced to the “post-mortem.” This often-pivotal scene is where we finally find out the “cause of death,” and thus gain insight into the mysteries upon which the episode was likely founded. With the cause of death determined, the other pieces of the puzzle start falling into place. While you have likely never starred in an episode of House, ER or a Lifetime Original murder mystery (which if you watch many of these, you will begin to assume most wives are killed by their husbands and that’s just how marriages are supposed to end. Good, wholesome TV for family, right?), there is a similar investigation you should be performing. But it isn’t seeking cause of death, rather, you should be exploring your very own “cause of life.” Would that be a pre-mortem? I’m not sure, but in any case, investigating why you are here, what inspires and energizes you, and what makes your heart come alive are essen...

If you are in a position of leadership, you probably have moments of frustration when those you are leading don’t seem to be doing a great job following. If you are in a position where you are being led, I’m sure you feel at times as though your boss, manager, pastor, coach, etc. isn’t leading or mentoring you the way you’d like. If you are like most people, you are feeling both frustrations in different areas of your life. You are probably struggling to lead in some facets and trying to follow in others. In either case, the question we must each ask of ourselves is this: Am I effectively leading myself? Unless you are leading yourself well, you can’t possibly lead others or be led effectively. There will always be bad bosses, disobedient kids, disgruntled reports and whiny co-workers, but unless you are first leading yourself, the rest is just commentary.

Here’s a definition of “prune” that I just pulled off the internet: verb "trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, especially to increase fruitfulness and growth." Pruning is just as important in our lives as it is in agriculture. And while it is never an easy process to cut things out of our lives, it is a bit simpler when those areas are clearly “dead and diseased” and producing no “fruit.” However, pruning sometimes involves more than just removing old, dead and dying branches. Sometimes productive branches are removed, not because they don’t provide any fruit, but because there are even more productive branches out there. By trimming back the modestly effective branches, even more resources can go to the most productive areas of the tree. As you get busier and more productive, this type of pruning is essential. You will run out of “dead and overgrown” branches to trim and will be left seeking modestly productive a...

Often our lives are not derailed by obstacles and roadblocks along the right path, as much as it is by a lack of those challenges along the wrong path. Sometimes the path to where we don’t want to go seems so clear and convenient, that we end up taking it purely out of comfort. It’s not that road we are supposed to be on is so impossibly difficult, it’s just that the compromised road is so much easier! It’s not that difficult to wake up a few minutes early and make a healthy lunch, it’s just even easier to hit snooze. It’s not a herculean task to get in a run before work, it’s just a lot easier to read the newspaper or check the social media feed instead. It’s not complicated to pull out a good book or find an educational article at the end of a long day, but it’s so much easier to watch some TV. It’s not that hard to write a note of gratitude or appreciation to an important person in your life, but it’s just so easy not to. When broken down into their smallest components, ...

I guess I’ve developed a little bit of a theme this week in stressing the need to identify what and who are really most important in your life. Because, if you strive to be good at everything, you condemn yourself to being great at nothing. And furthermore, if you are seeking to please everyone, you will find yourself frustrated and unfulfilled. These aren’t easy truths, but life is full of tradeoffs and I don’t think there’s any getting around that. You must accept that every time you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no” something or someone else. You only have twenty-four hours in the day and 168 hours in the week. What’s more, you only have a finite amount of energy and engagement, so everything you choose to commit to ultimately drains a little bit more of you that could have been used for something else. Maybe something even more critical. Every “yes” means there must be a “no” to balance it out. You are a finite resource. Be mindful of how you are spent as it i...