Mindset Matters

  We often use learning and education as synonymous, interchangeable terms. They are nothing of the sort. We all know plenty of people who are well-educated yet could really use some learning! Education happens when you increase your knowledge. Learning happens when you understand how to use that knowledge to its full and intended potential, when you can wield that knowledge effectively. Education is about information. It is more passive. It is something that happens to you. Learning is about discernment, not just knowing the right things but also doing them. It is active and requires engagement. While we may not learn without also being educated, we can be educated without actually learning. Think of knowledge as a tool. A tool provides leverage and, when applied properly, can add effectiveness and efficiency to the task at hand. But if misused, even a wonderful tool is worthless at best and likely even harmful. A chainsaw might be an effective tool, but in the hands of an e...

William James, the famous philosopher and psychologist, once said, “Our life experience will equal what we pay attention to, whether by choice or by default.” Even though that quote is roughly a century-and-a-half-old, do you think those words could have ever been more pertinent than they are today? Between social media, 24/7 “news” channels, live streaming anything and everything, never ending emails and constant bombardment by beeps, dings and alerts from our smartphones, our attention is in a constant state of being hi-jacked. We must constantly fight to keep our focus from being diverted by trivial, meaningless and even destructive interruptions. What is more, in the hyper-sensitive and sensationalized world we live in, when our attention is kidnapped by the latest headline, health mandate, political scandal, it can be difficult to disengage without losing precious time and peace of mind. If our life experience truly does equal what we pay attention to, that is a terrifying t...

  I met a lot of kids in college who excused their poor grades by saying, “I am just not a good test taker.” These were largely the same students who had poor study habits, partied too much and did not spend a lot of time in class. Funny how not studying, not sleeping, skipping class, and being drunk all weekend makes taking a test on Monday a bit difficult. But many of us live our lives that way even as adults. We fail to prepare for important life events and then come up with excuses when the failure catches up with us. Exam day is too late to prepare for the test. When divorce papers are filed, it is probably too late to learn how to love your spouse. Having a heart attack is not the time to start eating healthy and exercising. Waiting until you are on the brink of bankruptcy is not when you should be getting on a budget. We all too often wait until disaster is knocking on the doorstep before we prepare for its inevitable arrival. This year has been a very poignant example...

  A joyful, fulfilling life seems to come from balance. A balance between being engaged in the moment yet still planning for the future and learning from the past. A balance between working hard, but still having fun. A balance between being cautious but still taking measured risks. A balance between taking care of ourselves, but still being generous to others. I struggle with balance. I struggle … To be ambitious but not obsessed. To be productive but find time to be calm and quiet. To be firm but tender. To be driven but gracious. To be disciplined but flexible. To be consistent but open-minded. To be passionate but not overbearing. To be determined but not stubborn. To be committed to excellence but not consumed by it. Sometimes our greatest strengths can become weaknesses if not kept in check. Without balance an asset can be a liability. Balance is not static; it is fluid. It is not something we achieve, but rather a pursuit. It is something that we...

  Over the last few days, we have been going through the exciting process of potty training my two-year-old son. I wanted to leave him a little encouragement this morning, but he was still asleep when I left the house. I was hastily trying to get out the door but decided to pause and write him a short note. The note was simple and concise, essentially saying “You are doing a great job potty training. Keep peeing and pooping in the toilet. I love you!” Nothing particularly articulate. Maybe even a little crude. But ever since my wife read him the note, he has been proudly carrying it around with him, showing it to his brothers and sisters and reminding them of his potty-training prowess. A few simple sentences made his day. If we are really honest with ourselves, each one of us still has that child inside of us. It is the part of us that desperately longs to hear the phrases, “You did a good job,” “Nice work,” “I appreciate you,” and “You are enough.” No matter what we accomplis...

Drew Dernavich is a well-known and well-respected cartoonist for the New Yorker. His creativity in humor is legendary and he has been the recipient of numerous awards. It’s been suggested he has never created a cartoon that wasn’t funny. Drew knows better. He knows that for every cartoon that is submitted to the New Yorker, Google, TIME, The Wall Street Journal, or other various publications, there is a large stack of creations that never make it off his desk. Although Drew is famous for his hundreds of published cartoons, behind those hits are thousands of duds. Drew has suggested that one of the reasons he has so many published works is that he also probably has one of the largest “reject” piles. Drew understands that every idea is not going to be successful, but every failure brings him one step closer to his next success. Like Edison, to find what works, Drew must come up with countless ideas that do not work. While Drew Dernvich is undoubtedly a creative genius, it is his pe...

  Have you ever noticed how vague we are about our goals and long-term plans? We hear a lot of “someday” or “one day I’d like to …” And not only are we vague about timelines, we are also pretty fuzzy about a desired outcome as well, “I’d like to read more” or “I will lose some weight.” Read more than what? Lose how much weight, six ounces or 20 pounds? Whether it is intentional or not, being vague keeps us from being accountable. Others cannot call us on what we said we are going to do because “someday” has not yet arrived. More than that, we give ourselves too much leash by not making a clear commitment in our own minds. By not defining the “win” we feel like we can avoid the sting of failure. But the opposite is also true, without risking failure, we cannot ever experience true victory. If you set deadlines and specific targets, yes, you risk missing the mark and experiencing the pain of temporary failure. Telling yourself or others “I plan to be the VP of our marketing dep...

  I left my house early yesterday morning before anyone else was awake. A couple miles down the road I realized I had forgotten something on the kitchen counter and turned around to go back for it. I pulled up to the front of the house, punched in the key code and entered through the front door rather than opening up the garage. As I walked into the living room towards the kitchen, I heard my son sprint down the hallway and run down the stairs. It warmed my heart that he would be so enthusiastic about greeting me that morning. I gave him a big hug, told him I loved him and headed back out to the car (after grabbing my water bottle off the counter, of course). It wasn’t until I got home later that night that I learned why he had come downstairs in such a hurry. My son had not rushed out of his room and down the stairs to give me a hug before I left. He had been asleep and was awakened by our security system alert, “front door open,” and in his sleepy daze, assumed an intruder ha...

  All too often I hear the excuse, “I can’t do that, I am just not that discipled.” It is a cop-out phrase usually referring to something that someone knows they should do – maybe even that they must do – but are unwilling to commit to. So, instead of committing, they give themselves an out, an escape clause. It then becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Discipline is not something anyone is born with or “gifted.” It is a character quality that must be first acquired, then developed and finally, exercised. Saying you cannot commit to something because you are not disciplined is like saying you cannot lift weights because you are too weak. Your weakness is precisely why you need to get into the gym! And in the same way, your atrophied discipline muscle must be stressed in order to grow stronger. Disciplined people do not do difficult things because of their discipline. They become disciplined because they commit to and execute difficult things. They exercise their discipline and ...

Human beings are built for novelty. We are attracted to the new, bright shiny thing, regardless of whether it is superior to what we already have. Perhaps we are not too far removed from the toddler who is immediately discontent with the toy he is playing with as soon as a new toy is introduced. Our brains are biologically wired for novelty. However, research seems to be showing that bright flashy screens and always-at-your-fingertips technology bringing the whole world to us right now have exaggerated what was already a predisposition. While obsession for novelty is not necessarily detrimental, we must be wary of our desire for it. Because we are built for novelty, we are at risk for overlooking the tried and true while we search for new and exciting. The “old way” of doing things, no matter how effective, is boring. Our brains want fresh and innovative. We waste precious time and energy on the novel while ignoring the proven. Do not let what might work distract you from what ha...

  The phrase, “moving the goalposts” usually refers to someone changing an objective or a standard on you while you are amid the process of achieving the original goal. For example, your boss sets a target for you of $1 million in sales over the next quarter. If you achieve it, you receive a $5k quarterly bonus. However, just as you are closing in the mark, your boss announces the target is now $1.25 million for the quarter. Frustrating, right? It is like running a marathon and just as you are completing the 26 th mile, you are informed the finish line was moved to mile 30. This can happen in many areas of life: work, school, interpersonal relationships, etc. It is both confusing and frustrating when a standard continues to be altered and we are not sure how we measure up. We feel like the donkey chasing a carrot on a stick in front of us; no matter how fast we run, the carrot is out there just a little further. Usually when people refer to “goalposts” being moved, they are re...

  Do you ever let “how” diminish your “what” and your “why”? This is certainly a shortcoming of mine. I like to have a game plan and a strategy. I like to plot how I will accomplish a given goal or objective. While I believe being a planner is overall a good quality, it does have an inherent weakness. If I shift focus from “what” and “why” to “how” too quickly, I neglect to fully internalize why a goal or target is meaningful and important. Furthermore, I do not give myself time to clarify the “what” and identify what the target even looks like. When this occurs, the doubts start rolling in shortly thereafter. Instead of looking for ways to accomplish what I am setting out to do, I begin dwelling on all the circumstances that might prevent me from reaching my goal. I start fixating on all the ways my plans will not work, or what I cannot do, instead of what I can do to achieve them. While trouble-shooting plans and thinking through possible roadblocks that must be circu...

As we approach the Holiday season, my wife has started to make a “bucket” list of all the things she wants to do over the next few weeks. She is very festive. Me? Not so much. As we discussed my taking time off from work, she was very focused on all the activities we could add; meanwhile, I was thinking about all the things I would not be doing. What is the opposite of a bucket list? Whatever you call it, that is what I was planning. Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to the festivities and traditions, especially time with family making this season memorable for the kids. But all this planning got me musing on the fact that lots of people have To-Do Lists to help with productivity, but what if we had “Do-Not-Do” Lists? Would that make us even more productive? What if we started our day with Do-Not-Do lists before we even thought about what we needed to do? What would that impact look like? I do not have this all thought out yet, but it is something worth mulling over: What wo...

  Easy to measure does not mean important to execute. In life, we have a tendency to measure things that are easy to track, regardless of their impact or consequence. And this makes perfect sense. When we have a yardstick to which we can compare ourselves, it can be very motivating. The yardstick shows us where we stand and what a win looks like. However, just because something can be measured does not mean it should be. And for better or for worse, what gets measured usually gets done. We waste a lot of time measuring – and then acting on – the wrong variables. We often seek actions for their well-defined yardsticks rather than their impact and significance. Building trust and connection in my interactions at work – showing people I care about them and their future – is far more impactful than how many emails I respond to. It takes me about 20 seconds to figure out how many emails I have sent this week, but measuring trust and connection is far less tangible. We must seek ma...

  I want to wrap up, at least for now, my thoughts over the last few days. By having a map to follow, or at least a compass-heading and an intentional direction forward, we not only have a better chance at making the right decisions for our lives and staying motivated, we are less likely to be drawn off the course by fake paths and false promises. One reason people blindly follow the herd – as mentioned in Pluralistic Ignorance – is they never really had a clear direction to begin with. If you don’t know what path to take or even where you are headed, following everyone else probably seems quite reasonable. And if nothing else, it feels “safe.” Strength in numbers, right? But unfortunately, that feeling of security can be a mirage if that crowd is headed off a cliff. You will feel safe right up until the moment it’s too late. In contrast, the right path can feel scary and lonely. Temporary security is something you must give up at times to ensure you are headed in the appropria...

  The other day in “Walking in Circles” I appealed to you to consider the importance of having deeply meaningful objectives as landmarks in your life. These provide a sense of purpose, guide you and prevent you from wandering aimlessly. But having a profound purpose and meaningful objective for your life is not enough. You need a roadmap. You need to clarify the steps and paths you will need to take to reach that objective. It seems many around us are content waiting for a map. They are passively and aimlessly existing until someone comes along and plots out a course for them to take. One of the major problems with this vein of thinking is that other people are only going to give you a map to where they want you to go. It is not your map. It is not guiding you to your destination. You must be willing to create your own map. Sometimes it will feel like you keep bumping into obstacles and hitting roadblocks. That is okay. Check your bearings, recalibrate, and ensure you are still ali...

I am sure at some point in all our lives, we have all felt the proverbial frustration of “walking around in circles.” As it turns out, that is a very literal phenomenon. Jan Souman of the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics put the colloquialism to the test and researched how humans behave in unfamiliar forests and deserts. What he found out was that, without paths, maps or landmarks, people invariably do end up walking around in circles. While the research explores many theories for that discovery that we are not going to get into here, the point is this: without something guiding us, human beings tend to wander in circles. This is true far beyond deserts and forests. What are the guiding principles for your life? Do you have a pathway to keep you on track? Do you have landmarks out ahead to keep you moving in the right direction? Do you have a map to keep you from drifting off course? And here is the big question: do you know where you want to end up in life? Is there...

Pluralistic ignorance is a social phenomenon that is especially prevalent during times of uncertainty. When we are in a new or unfamiliar environment or circumstance, we find ourselves searching for appropriate behaviors or reactions. Typically, we look to the behaviors and reactions of others to guide our own response. Thus, our response is not based on what is right or effective, it is predicated primarily on what others are doing. When caught up in pluralistic ignorance, we do not really understand why we or anyone is given to a specific response or a set of reactions. Others are doing it and that seems to be compelling enough. Later, we then justify our “herding” with the group with more rational answers. But if we are honest with ourselves, the real reason boils down to “everyone else is doing it.” You have likely asked your child a question to the effect of, “If Timmy jumped off a bridge, would you?” But we need to be asking ourselves, “If all my peers were jumping off a brid...

  Caleb Nichols is a sculptor who specializes in a very distinctive niche: most of his art is created from broken pieces of glass. He creates beautiful, imaginative sculptures from something that was once crushed or shattered. The result is every piece has a strikingly unique and distinctive look. There is nothing cookie-cutter about his work. Each piece is an exquisite work of art. Each one of us has broken glass in our lives. Sometimes dreams are crushed. Hopes are dashed. Expectations are shattered. Promises are fractured. Plans get smashed. We see broken glass. But God sees a potential masterpiece. Some of the greatest advances in history came from courageous people picking up the pieces of shattered dreams and broken spirits. Look to innovators like the Wright brothers who overcame tremendous setbacks to create the airplane or Steve Jobs who was kicked out of the very company he created, only to return to build it into an international icon. Or look back to the founders of...

  My seven-month-old son just started army-crawling a few weeks ago, and this new-found independence has made him less content when being held. He gets stir-crazy, squirming and struggling to get out of my arms. It’s like trying to hold onto a frantic puppy. But where is he going to go? He can’t walk, he can’t talk. I’m almost certain he doesn’t have a job lined up or even any prospects. He was born at the very beginning of the Covid shutdown, therefore he knows exactly no one outside of our family. So, it is not like he has a getaway driver waiting for him outside; and even if he did, he can’t reach the door latch to let himself out of the house. He has a lot of energy and enthusiasm, but no strategy. Lots of passion, but no purpose or plan. Passion alone only gets you so far. Without a clear objective and a game plan to execute, excitement and desire rarely do much to propel you forward and often leave you spinning your wheels. And eventually, after a long enough time of aiml...

  We live in a world that offers so many innovations that amazing has become mundane. We get upset when our phones take a few extra seconds to download an email, but forget that it is a message sent from space! You are receiving a letter from a friend across the country and it is being sent by a satellite orbiting the earth. That’s amazing, even if it does take a few extra seconds sometimes. I still remember when a phone was something attached to a wall that you could only use to talk to someone. It was beyond our comprehension that it would be carried in a pocket and have the ability to receive messages from space and play movies and take crystal clear photos. We (myself included) get irritated when our plane is delayed by 17 minutes, especially if we have connecting flights. We have the ability to travel across the country, New York to LA, in less than six hours, and get bent out of shape because of a few minutes. In the 1800s, it would take six months to go from the Missouri R...

  I have been feeling like I’ve been fighting something off for a few days, so it was no surprise this morning to feel some congestion creeping into my chest. Warming up at the gym, my muscles and joints felt stiff and inflamed. I was already tired and fatigued before the warm-up was over. Then the excuses started coming. The desire to give in crept into my thoughts. I could hear the voice of Resistance trying to convince me to surrender and skip the workout. “Your body deserves a break.” “You need the rest.” And the most insidious one, “You’ve done enough, you have earned the right to relax and take it easy.” While it probably is true that my body could have used the rest and extra recovery, I also knew my mind needed to push back against the Resistance. It needed a fight. I am in the middle of a tough stretch with a lot on my plate and several extra obligations; I needed to start this week with a victory. I forced myself through the workout. I did not break any records....

  Michelangelo was once asked by the pope about the secret of his genius, specifically as it related to one of his famous masterpieces, David. He wanted to know how he was able to create the iconic sculpture. Michelangelo stated that he simply removed every piece of marble that was not David. He chipped away all the stone that did not belong. I think we can learn a lot from this perspective. We are so quick to add something to get a result in life. We add some new supplement or miracle ab toning device to tone up our stomachs instead of cutting out the junk food. We add some magical three-step success program at work instead of eliminating all the wasted time spent on social media and YouTube. We try to earn more money by going to work earlier and staying later but spend part of that time blowing the extra cash buying stupid stuff we don’t need on Amazon.  We try to increase inflow without fixing the leaks in outflow. We are so quick to look to the latest and greatest device, ...

  Remember in junior high when all you really wanted out of life was to fit in? You watched other kids to see what kind of clothes they wore, how they did their hair, how they talked, etc. As a homeschooler, I was especially interested in what “normal” kids did. I was really afraid of being “weird.” I wanted to be normal and not stick out (Looking back at pictures, it’s pretty obvious that goal was never realized. I stuck out. I was weird). Now, I look at a world around me and I see what “normal” has become. It is having a “dad bod,” living paycheck to paycheck, barely tolerating a wife and kids (and avoiding them when possible), and doing the bare minimum to get by so as to not get fired or divorced. It is counting down the days until the next weekend or vacation when happiness can be found for a few days or a week, and looking forward to the day when the kids are out of the house and quitting the job for something called “retirement” is at least a remote possibility. It is blam...

  How often do you think about death? Not just death in general, but your death? Fun conversation starter, I know. But it has struck me recently how this subject seems to elicit pure terror in many members of our society. It’s as if they are just now learning they are mortal and coming to grips with the fact that at some point, something is going to get them. And for quite a few folks, it seems their solution to escaping death is to also avoid living. But could it be a healthy practice to spend more time considering death? Instead of avoiding death, what if we embraced it to see what it can teach us? I know some people who actually write and rewrite their own obituary every so often. Why? Because contemplating death creates a deeper appreciation for life. It helps us cling to what really matters in this existence and works to loosen our grip on the trivial matters of the present. Musing on our own mortality produces perspective. Even the mundane aspects of our days become sweetened...

  Extending grace is easier said than done. Being empathic and honestly seeking to experience circumstances through the eyes of someone else is no easy task either. As mentioned the other day in Extending Grace , both are seemingly rare skillsets in our current society. But I do believe they are skillsets, meaning they can be developed and honed. You can grow in grace and empathy, even if you are like me and do not have a natural leaning toward such qualities. The first step in developing the qualities of grace and empathy may very well be gratitude. When you are grateful for and musing on what you do not deserve, it is easier to extend to others a measure of unmerited kindness as well. Gratitude also makes you more generous. It shifts you out of the natural human tendency to fixate on what you lack, and on to focusing on the blessings in your life instead. It moves you from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance, allowing you to consider more what you can give and less what ...

  What if you were able to accomplish your biggest goals? What if your most grandiose ambitions were achieved? What if your wildest dreams became a reality? And what if you made it to the top of that “mountain,” only to realize everything and everyone who truly mattered in your life was left behind somewhere along the way up? Unfortunately, this is not a hypothetical experience for many seemingly successful individuals. They make it to the summit, only to find themselves alone and unfulfilled because they never really took the time to discern what was most important. The “mountain top” experience is most precious when it is shared with loved ones and those most precious in your life. Otherwise, it is just you standing by yourself, bracing against the cold winds of loneliness and emptiness. Ambition is important, but it must be measured and controlled, or you may find yourself sacrificing the irreplaceable for the irrelevant. Never risk what you cannot afford to lose to gain what yo...

  We seem to be living in a time where empathy for one another is in short supply. Racial issues continue to divide our nation and cause us to fixate on what makes us different rather than focusing on our similarities and what bonds us together. Politics and upcoming elections separate us into groups of conservatives versus liberals or republicans versus democrats, glossing over the fact that at the end of the day we are all Americans. Even health and personal liberty concerns seem to segregate us into camps of mask wearers and social rebels. There seems to be a tendency to forget our opinions are not facts and our perspectives are not perfect. And as a society, we are losing our ability to listen to the beliefs of others or see life from another’s point of view. We treat those who disagree with us not just as wrong and uninformed, but as stupid and immoral. We need grace. For ourselves and for those around us. And that does not imply compromise. We can still hold fast to our v...

  Arianna Huffington, author, and co-founder of the Huffington Post, once wrote, “Ours is a generation bloated with information and starved for wisdom.” It is an interesting paradox, isn’t it? Yet so true. We have nearly unlimited access to information, but without the wisdom to wield that knowledge, it is ineffective. It’s like having all the pieces to a puzzle, but no idea how to fit them together or what the puzzle is supposed to look like. We often lack the framework to make the knowledge useful. We react rather than think. We are educated yet ignorant. We make statements and accusations instead of asking questions. And when we do inquire, we listen to respond rather than listen to learn. We are quick to form opinions, but slow to consider alternatives. We have unlimited data, but discernment is scarce. Information and knowledge are great tools, but like any great tools, they are only beneficial when operated effectively. And like many tools, when misused, they can be quite...

  In 1964, Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for his involvement in the anti-apartheid movements in South Africa as well as for his stance on social justice and organizing protests in defiance of the South African government. For the next 27 years he would remain in prison, almost two decades of that being spent at the brutal Robben Island prison. Subject to inhumane conditions and harsh punishment for nearly three decades, Mandela was finally freed on February 11 th , 1990. But as he prepared to be released, Mandela realized that no longer being imprisoned did not automatically make him free. He had a difficult decision to make. He must choose freedom. “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” Mandela wrote those words years later, recalling the reality he faced upon his release. The government could free him physically from his cell, but Mandela knew only he cou...

  In Malachi 1:6-7, the prophet relays the words of God to the children of Israel, condemning them for their shameful sacrifices: “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is My reverence? Says the Lord of hosts to you priests who despise My name. Yet you say, ‘In what way have we despised Your name?’ “You offer defiled food on My altar, but say, ‘In what way have we defiled You?’ By saying, ‘the table of the Lord is contemptible.’” The altar of God was defiled because the Israelites were not offering their best. Instead, they were “sacrificing” the blind and the lame of their flocks. They were trying to get by with the bare minimum. They were going through the motions. Rather than offering God their first fruits, they gave him their leftovers. You need not be religious to appreciate the importance of this passage. We all are tempted at times to hold back, to “mail it in,” as the saying go...

  On April 23 rd , 1910, Teddy Roosevelt gave what would become one of the most well-known speeches of his career. A portion of that address, known as “The Man in the Arena,” provides a wonderful depiction of courage as Roosevelt contrasts the brave and daring souls who step “in the Arena” with the ubiquitous spectators who watch and criticize from the stands. Roosevelt notes that those in the Arena do not merely risk failure, they experience it. He does not mince words. He describes the courageous as someone “whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.” Setbacks and defeat are inevitable for anyone who seeks to venture out into the unknown to accomplish anything of importance. It will be accompanied by pain, hardship and rejection. It is not a matter of if, but when. That is what the Arena offers, not the potential for failure and heartache, but the...

  In the words of the great 21 st century poet and philosopher, T.I., “What matters more than the mistakes you made is what you are able to learn from them.” We all make mistakes. We all fail. We all mess up. We all hurt people we care about. We all let others down. Mistakes are inevitable. Learning from them is not. Some are too stubborn to change and thus continue to duplicate past mistakes, perpetuating those errors into the future. Others, buried by guilt or shame, hesitate to do anything it seems. Rather than learn from the past, they are paralyzed by it. As T.I. further explains in the song, “Your pride is in the way.” Pride is what keeps you from benefiting from mistakes. By learning from past failures, you can improve and develop. By ignoring them, you are doomed to repeat them. Similarly, by being overcome by past mistakes, your growth is stunted as well. In either case, pride is in the way. Humbly examine past mistakes. Feel their pain, learn from them, but then ...

  We are a very achievement-focused society. And while that certainly is not a bad thing – after all, having goals and a vision for the future is important – it also carries with it some inherent risks. When we are overly focused on achieving some milestone, we can miss the scenery along the way. We miss the process because of our fixation with the product. We delay satisfaction, fulfillment and even joy until some future event. But oftentimes, the chase is just as rewarding as the achievement. In many cases, it may even be more so. The achievement can be anti-climactic if we miss all sights and experiences along the way. We can be like the dog chasing a car: the pursuit is exhilarating, but we have no idea what to do next if we ever catch it. Our founding fathers listed three inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is no accident that only two of these they declared each citizen should have, the third was something we are to chase. It is the process...

Have you ever tried eating a toad for breakfast? And I am not talking about just frog legs. No, I’m talking about a fat, warty, slimy toad. Sounds disgusting, doesn’t it?   And that is kind of my point, beginning the day accomplishing something utterly unappealing and unappetizing. Maybe it is getting a jog in. Maybe it is doing your expense reports. It could be making sales calls or dialing an unhappy customer and facing possible rejection. Perhaps it is your math homework or a writing assignment.  We all have our “toads.” It is that difficult and disagreeable task you just do not want to do. It is the thing you often procrastinate doing because you have a hard time stomaching it. But the longer you stare at it, the uglier the toad becomes. So, you promise yourself you will eat two toads tomorrow to make it up. But we both know that is not going to happen.   Eat toad for breakfast. Begin your day with a hurdle. A challenge. An obstacle that is disagreeable. B...

  Do you ever let your future rob your present? Many of us spend unnecessary amounts of time paying attention to and worrying about speculations regarding the future. We watch economic and market forecasts, read about upcoming elections including polls predicting which candidate will win what, and we listen to commentary about what may or may not happen tomorrow and next month and next year. Then we have our own private worries about the future on top of it all. And it is not all bad news that steals joy from the present. We look towards future positive events and allow our impatience for their materialization to mute the joy we feel in the moment. “I’ll be more happy when …   I get that promotion, go on that vacation, finish this semester, etc.” Rather than wait in eager anticipation, we treat that future event as if it is a get-out-of-jail-free card from the prison of current circumstances. Please do not misunderstand, I am not advocating for a lack of planning and even ...