Ambiguity

This past weekend my family started decorating the house for Christmas. The kids brought all the boxes and totes out of storage and my wife started planning out how to set up the room. As the work continued, I realized I was becoming uncomfortable with all the limitless possibilities in the decorating process. The placement of the tree, the locations for garland and lights, even where the ornaments would be placed on tree; there is no definitive “right” answer for any of those decisions. Feeling somewhat aimless, I opted to finish the dishes and do the laundry, tasks that were more defined with specific, measurable progress and end points. I later realized I was fleeing ambiguity.

Isn’t this the fear from which so many run? It’s not really the fear of failure or even uncertainty – although I’m certain these sources of fear are all connected – rather, it is the fear of ambiguity. It’s not that we are afraid of the path ahead or unsure of where the path might lead, the fear comes from the fact that there is no path and we must create one. Perhaps this is why it’s so difficult to start a business, write a book, paint a picture or compose a song. When there is no “right” answer and the problem isn’t clearly defined, the blank page, the empty canvas and uncharted trail can be terrifying. The “white space” can be overwhelming.

Failure is painful. Uncertainty is intimidating. But neither of these really scare me like they used to. However, I realized something about myself this weekend: it’s the ambiguity of limitless possibilities with no “correct” solution that truly frightens me. While I certainly have not discovered the solution, at least I have begun to define the problem.