Dulling the Senses

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I learned we were pregnant again. My first reaction was excitement mixed with hesitation. Hesitation because it was still early in the pregnancy and we have struggled with miscarriages in the past. But I realized I really wanted another daughter and began imagining another baby girl in our home. There was also trepidation and a feeling of holding back as well. Something was hindering me from fully engaging the thought of another baby because I was afraid of the hurt and disappointment that would surely follow if we lost this child. My wife and I are all too familiar with that cycle of emotions.

However, I also know that the only way to dull the potential pain of that loss would be to dull the anticipation of another child. It would require dulling the excitement. Dulling the joy. Dulling the hope. Dulling my spirit and ultimately, dulling who I am. I decided that is no way to live. I will experience plenty of heartache and loss in this life, but I can’t seek to avoid that pain by cheating myself out of fully experiencing hope and expectation, ultimately watering down the joy of the countless wonderful blessings I experience.

I know life is not all gumdrops and unicorns. I am not saying I have decided to live as a blind, naïve optimist, but I want to live in expectation of God’s grace and gifts so I don’t miss them when they appear. I am also not ignorant to the disappointment I will face in life, but I must not borrow sadness from future events that have not yet transpired.

_ _ _

My wife began miscarrying yesterday and we must once again say goodbye to an unborn child we won’t have the pleasure of meeting this side of eternity. However, while we navigate this loss, I rejoice in the joy experienced during these last few weeks anticipating another precious addition to our family. I will not miss the gift.

If there is only one thing I want you to get from this it is this: Don’t borrow disappointment from the future.

“The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord” – Job 1:21b

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on...

The Art of Intentionality

“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make you.” – Richie Norton I am not even sure who Richie Norton is, but I love that quote! I imagine a ship drifting out to sea, pushed around by the wind and the waves. No course of direction, yet the captain is frustrated when the ship ends up dashed against the rocks, trapped on a sandbar or marooned on an inhospitable island. It is easy to complain when life takes us where we do not want to go. But who is really to blame if we have never set our sails to align us along an appropriate course? Do we blame the waves, wind and the weather? Or should we blame the captain of the ship? It is our life and our ship. We must set our sails with intentionality and determined choices. Otherwise, we are doomed to aimlessly drift along according to the choices and decisions of others.

Hasty Hares

We live in a world full of hares. People darting from one thing to another. Always looking for a shortcut. Constantly seeking a quick fix. Ever searching for a hack. And more than anything, they want it NOW! Speed seems to have replaced diligent planning and patient determination. It’s all about quick results, immediate feedback and instant gratification. People seem to be less concerned with the direction they are headed than how fast they are moving. They don’t know where they are going – and are quite possibly moving in the wrong direction – but at least they’re making good time! But the pace and aimless effort catches up. They get jaded and burn out. Or they simply end up “lost.” They fail to notice that movement isn’t progress. They don’t consider that sheer velocity, without control and accuracy, is dangerous and destructive. They forget the tortoise wins. Every. Single. Time. “It matters not how slowly you go. It only matters that you do not stop.” – Confucio...

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog