Hot Pocket Solutions

Jim Gaffigan has an extremely popular comedy bit centered around the infamous Hot Pocket. He marvels at the engineering feat of creating a food product (using that term loosely, of course) that is scalding hot on the outside yet somehow remains rock solid frozen in the middle. And don’t forget about the indigestion and diarrhea that is sure to follow your meal. Not to mention, Hot Pockets probably cause cancer in the state of California. Although I rarely agree with Jim on his eating habits, I must concur here. Hot Pockets are an absolutely terrible food product. In fact, in a soon-to-be famous conspiracy (that I just made up for this blog about 17 seconds ago), it’s possible the Hot Pocket was invented by North Korea to weaken and soften up Americans for a future invasion.

So why do people still buy these things? Because they are microwaveable: quick and convenient. It provides a cheap, fast, but temporary solution (using that term loosely as well) for hunger while delaying the true costs: second degree burns on the roof of your mouth, a chipped tooth from the frozen insides and your GI system that is now mad at the whole world.

We run into the same problems when we try to “microwave” solutions. By trying to short cut a process and come up with a quick solution, rather than the right solution, we end up with similar side effects. In the long run, we often get burned by the quick fix. When we get to the core of an issue, we may find ourselves frozen, improperly prepared to deal with the problem. And then, of course, there is the nagging malaise and psychological indigestion that comes from making the easy choices instead of the correct ones.

Be patient, true solutions can’t be microwaved.

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