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Self-Discipline is Love


Although most can agree that self-discipline is a noble character quality, there are many who view it as a restrictive and inflexible trait. It’s as if they feel having self-discipline relegates you to a monk-like existence on the top of a mountain or turns you into a robotic being with no feelings or sense of passion and enjoyment.

I have always seen self-discipline as a form of self-respect, but actor Will Smith views it even more than that. Smith says, “self-discipline is the highest form of self-love.” I got to thinking about that and it is absolutely true.

My kids don’t get everything they want. They certainly don’t do everything they want either. Sometimes I even make them do things they don’t want to do. I make them do homework and chores. I put them to bed at a decent time so they get plenty of sleep. I ensure, as best as I can, they eat healthy and exercise. Through both punishment and rewards, I incentivize good behavior and teach them to respect others. I try to teach them humility and patience. All of these are forms of discipline. Yes, I discipline my kids.

Why do I this? Is it because I am trying to be 2019’s Meanest Dad in the World? No, it’s because I love them and I’ve learned that a five-year old’s judgement is severely lacking at times and, left to their own devices and whims, kids won’t always do what is in their own best interests. I discipline my kids because I love them, and I want the best possible life for them.


Discipline is a part of love and this goes for adults as much as it does for kids. You have whims and impulses and weaknesses too. You will require discipline until the day you leave this earth. It’s necessary to give you the best shot at making the most of life. But as an adult, much of that discipline will need to come from within. And if there is another form of self-love higher than self-discipline, I am not sure I know what it is.  

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