Self-Discipline is Love

Although most can agree that self-discipline is a noble character quality, there are many who view it as a restrictive and inflexible trait. It’s as if they feel having self-discipline relegates you to a monk-like existence on the top of a mountain or turns you into a robotic being with no feelings or sense of passion and enjoyment.

I have always seen self-discipline as a form of self-respect, but actor Will Smith views it even more than that. Smith says, “self-discipline is the highest form of self-love.” I got to thinking about that and it is absolutely true.

My kids don’t get everything they want. They certainly don’t do everything they want either. Sometimes I even make them do things they don’t want to do. I make them do homework and chores. I put them to bed at a decent time so they get plenty of sleep. I ensure, as best as I can, they eat healthy and exercise. Through both punishment and rewards, I incentivize good behavior and teach them to respect others. I try to teach them humility and patience. All of these are forms of discipline. Yes, I discipline my kids.

Why do I this? Is it because I am trying to be 2019’s Meanest Dad in the World? No, it’s because I love them and I’ve learned that a five-year old’s judgement is severely lacking at times and, left to their own devices and whims, kids won’t always do what is in their own best interests. I discipline my kids because I love them, and I want the best possible life for them.

Discipline is a part of love and this goes for adults as much as it does for kids. You have whims and impulses and weaknesses too. You will require discipline until the day you leave this earth. It’s necessary to give you the best shot at making the most of life. But as an adult, much of that discipline will need to come from within. And if there is another form of self-love higher than self-discipline, I am not sure I know what it is.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Glutton for Punishment

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this

Commitment

You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more presentat

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog