Skip to main content

The Power of Agreements


Agreements are a powerful and important part of life, but most people overlook the most critical agreements of all. If you order pizza and they promise delivery in 30 minutes or less, what do you do if the delivery takes 35 minutes? You demand a free pizza! If your package from Amazon was supposed to arrive on Tuesday but it doesn’t get delivered until Thursday, rest assured someone is going to hear about it. And we are all about the money back guarantee. Whether it’s a job agreement, a phone contract, a vehicle warranty or a marriage, our lives are structured by agreements and when others break those arrangements with us, we are quick to call it to their attention and demand retribution or a refund.

However, how quick are you to call yourself out when you break agreements with yourself? We don’t hesitate to let others know when a contract is broken or when they have let us down, but we are far too lenient with ourselves in the same position. Whether it’s a commitment to exercise, to study more, to eat better, to save more money or to simply become a better parent or spouse, we seem to have no problem violating those agreements and letting ourselves down.

According to a recent Nielsen study on New Year’s Resolutions, nearly four resolutions out of ten are already given up by February of the same year. Many of these people are trying to make life long changes, but can’t even keep the commitment an entire month! People are far too comfortable breaching a contract with themselves.

The agreements you make with yourself are the most powerful contracts you hold, and the most devastating when broken, because you have complete control of the parties involved. There is no one else to blame when things get sour. Get used to holding yourself to a higher standard and sharing that standard with others. Let trusted friends or a spouse in on your agreements with you. Let them witness the contract and hold you accountable. Even be willing to impose penalties on yourself if arrangements are broken. Make it very uncomfortable to break an agreement with you. Enough people in your life will let you down, don’t be one of them.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Glutton for Punishment

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this

Commitment

  You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more presentat