So You Don't Have to Wonder

In 1997, Garth Brooks released the hit, I Don’t Have to Wonder. If you are not familiar, you can listen to it HERE. The song paints the picture of a broken man, waiting outside the church where a woman he once loved is marrying someone else, haunted the by the thoughts of what could have been. You can feel the torment of the “what ifs” he’s feeling throughout the verses while his pain builds throughout the song. As the song nears the end, there’s a climax in the tension, the man pulls the ring out of his pocket – the ring he never gave the girl inside the church – and hurls it into a river. Moments later, he follows the ring, concluding the only way he can drown out the thunderous voices of Regret is to drown himself.

It’s a tragic ending to a tragic song. You may not be a fan of Garth or country music as a whole, but please don’t miss the take away: The pain of regret surpasses the sting of failure and the agony of loss. Now, I don’t know what happened between the young man and the girl getting married; maybe he did ask her to marry him and she said no. But I don’t think so. A man doesn’t carry around a ring with him for years after being told “no.” He carried that ring with him because it held the question he never asked: “Will you marry me?” Was it fear of her possible rejection or fear of the commitment that kept him from presenting that ring? We don’t know. We just know, for whatever reason, he never built up the courage to put his heart on the line and ask for her hand.

This goes far beyond relationships. It could be a job you want to go for, a business your soul is burning for you to try, a family you are contemplating starting or the education you’d like to pursue. The pain of regret and the torture of “what if” are far greater than the discomfort of any failure. Even if failure is terminal – you lose the job, the business goes under, the girl says no, you can’t get in to Med School – you can walk away knowing you tried. The voice of Wonder can’t haunt and torment you anymore because you jumped; you took the chance and put yourself out there. There is a strange peace that comes with having fears realized and then moving past them with the understanding, “that was the worst that could happen.” And don’t get me wrong, failure can be excruciating and the scars long-lasting. However, even in failure, there is closure and a release from the outcome. But the Ghosts of Regret and What-Could-Have-Been, they are relentless in their pursuit and will only die with you.

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