Mindset Matters

  The problem with average is it actually works … sometimes. Average effort, average results, average willpower, average discipline, average preparation, average dedication. Mediocrity can get the job done, at least for a while. You can live paycheck to paycheck, staying a step ahead of your debt payments and bad decisions just as long as you have a steady income and no unexpected expenses creep up. A marriage can limp along with minimal connection and commitment, just as long as the other aspects of the couple’s life remains smooth. Average performance at work might be enough to get by if there are no layoffs and the company remains profitable. Yes, average may work, but only in average conditions. But sooner or later, the storms hit. Maybe it is the banks melting down in 2008. Maybe your spouse gets cancer. Maybe one of your kids gets addicted to pain pills. Maybe you have a severe injury. Or maybe the world gets shut down because of a novel virus and life as we knew it ceas...

  A few times a year I encounter a spruce hen on the road coming in or out of my neighborhood. These birds have a very tiny brain and it often shows in their behavior. Because of their natural camouflage, the birds easily blend into the roadside. And that is their primary defense, being quiet and blending in. That is the spruce hen’s comfort zone. And because she knows her camouflage is well-suited to the gravel on the road, a spruce hen is perfectly content standing still right in the middle of the road. “If I don’t move, he can’t see me!” And while she may be correct – passing cars may very well not be able to see her – she is still at great risk of being run over by an unwitting driver. She is in her comfort zone, but far from safe. I realize there may be times when our comfort zones overlap with safety. But in many instances, comfort zones can give us a false sense of security. They can lull us into complacency and dull our true sense of risk. Comfort rarely brings secu...

  In the always-sensationalized financial media, it seems there is always talk of the dreaded “Bear Market.” While there are various “technical” definitions of a bear market, it is quite simply a dramatic decline in the widespread value of investments. Even though these volatile periods are uncomfortable and are generally accompanied by difficult economic times, they have always been temporary. Investors, since they are normal people, are prone to worrying about things out of their control, rather than focusing on what they can directly influence. And the financial media, aware of this fact, eats this up with a ravenous appetite. Amid the current economic struggles surrounding the COVID shutdowns and political uncertainty, bear market discussions certainly dominated the financial “news” in 2020. While bear markets might get all the press, for many people, bare markets are much more destructive. What is a “Bare Market”? I am glad you asked. It is not something that happens in th...

  I remember losing a close game of basketball about twenty-five years ago that ended with a very “iffy” foul call, resulting in some free throw shots that allowed the opposing team to pull ahead in the closing seconds. As we walked back to the bench after the buzzer, my teammates and I lamented that “bad call” that we felt cost us the game. Our coach then asked us why we allowed the outcome of the game to be decided by someone who was not even playing. His point was we had just played an hour and a half of basketball, the game should not have come down to a last-second call. Most of us have a referee in life. This isn’t necessarily the person who makes the rules for us, nor is it someone who’s dressed up like a zebra. No, the referee is the person/condition/circumstance/political party/etc. we blame when things in life go awry instead of taking ownership for the mistakes we made. Many of us “need” a Ref, because otherwise we must face the horrors of owning our own mistakes and t...

  In 1923, Adolf Hitler began writing Mein Kampf from a jail cell. The autobiographical manifesto that was published in 1925 after his release from prison demanded a revolution to overthrow the “oppressive” nature of the current government. He called out the “social injustice” of the prevailing regime and sought to throw off the fetters of that establishment and thus restore Germany to the greatness to which she was entitled.      He promised Germany he would grant her the rights and freedoms she deserved. But in reality, Hitler seduced Germany into accepting some of the vilest injustices the world had ever seen and introduced Germany to unprecedented persecution and oppression.     Sound familiar? We hear much about social injustice in our outrage culture today. Angry, self-proclaimed saviors of the “oppressed” point to the “abuse and manipulation” of minorities and the “underprivileged.” They promise freedoms and rights that are currently “withheld” by ...

Wealth means different things to different people. For some, wealth means being able to do and buy whatever you want, whenever you want. For others, it means having a “work-optional” lifestyle where you have enough income potential from investments or other passive sources to maintain your standard of living without a paycheck. Others may feel wealth is being able to generously give to and help others. And then for still others, it means simply having enough financial stability to not be worried about money, to not live in constant anxiety and fear regarding finances. I believe wealth is more a mindset than a financial status. I know plenty of people who have great financial means yet live in fear and frustration when it comes to money. Conversations with a spouse about money trigger fights and anxiety. These folks have a scarcity mindset. Meanwhile others, although not destitute, have far less in financial terms yet manage to experience freedom in their finances. They are generous a...

  There is no argument 2020 was in many ways a dumpster fire of a year. And although we are now in 2021, the embers of the preceding year are still smoldering, sometimes shooting forth fresh flames. But there is still a lot to glean from the preceding year, regardless of the challenges and frustrations it brought with it. If we learned anything from 2020, it is how little control we really have over life around us. Life is volatile and unpredictable. As the chaos and uncertainty ran rampant, many felt helpless and disempowered. And while the outcomes in life are largely out of our control, we should not lose heart. For one, those chaotic results – while not under our control – still can be influenced by our choices. And that must be a major focus in life: the circle of influence you do control. I cannot control whether people are hateful and nasty around me, but I can still choose to act out of grace and with kindness. I cannot control how the world has changed around me, but...

  As we find ourselves just a few days into the new year, I am guessing many are already struggling with their New Year’s Resolutions. We are battling old habits and seeking to form new routines; trying to teach an old dog new tricks. It is easy to focus on the actions and behaviors that we are struggling to modify, but I believe we need to take a step back and get closer to the source of the issue. It is often our thinking that needs to change. The issue is internal, not external. Trying to adjust our actions without first changing how we think is like replacing the tires on our car but ignoring the broken steering linkage. The tires might have a better grip on the road, but the internal disconnect between the steering wheel and the tires means the vehicle will still veer off course.   Our undesirable actions are often the symptom of dysfunctional thoughts. While we might be able to force appropriate action for a time, without a proper mindset and thought patterns, sustainabl...

  Twice a week I hit the gym for an upper-body workout. I try to get everything in the torso and arms together: chest, back, arms, abs and shoulders. It is a fast-paced workout and I finish exhausted. I try to give it my all each time and there is not much left in me by the time I am done. However, an upper-body workout is nothing compared to Leg Day. Sprints, squats, deadlifts, sled work, lunges … they take so much more out of me than any upper-body lift. More effort. More Sweat. More shortness of breath. More discomfort. More exhaustion. More pain. More sacrifice. In fact, it is not even close. If I were to measure calories expended on lower versus upper body sessions, I would guess the former is twice the energy cost of the latter even though the duration is about equal. The mental focus and fortitude required is of at least the same disparity if not greater. So, how is it I feel like I push myself to the max on every upper-body workout twice a week, yet I go in for a trem...

  As mentioned recently in Attention , what we give our attention to greatly impacts the quality of our life. Therefore, we must be diligent to direct our attention so that it does not drift by default. In much the same way, our habits are created, either by design or by default. We all have habits – good and bad – and I would be willing to bet that many of those positive habits are by design and many of the negative ones happen by default. But either way, the quality of our lives is very much made up of the quality of our habits. People rarely drift into effective routines and practices. Positive habits require diligence and intentionality, just as breaking bad habits requires much of the same. So, as we head into the new year – with many of us taking stock of our habits and what we would like to change going forward – be mindful of the habits you allow into your life. Although designing helpful and healthful habits requires effort, it is generally far easier to create good ...

A man asked me yesterday if I had any New Year’s resolutions or maybe even some “revolutions” planned for 2021. I told him I try not to put off necessary changes in my life until January 1, so I didn’t really have any “new” New Year's resolutions that I was not already working on. But then I got to thinking, what would be a good “resolution theme” for 2021?     Up until recent history, contributing was not really a choice. You contributed to the greater good of those around you, or you starved. You might have had a choice in your level of contribution, but it was a question of “How much?” rather than a binary yes or no. And if you wanted to have any semblance of security or comfort in your life, your level of contribution would need to be quite high. Contribution always preceded comfort.   Such is no longer the case. Not only do we have a choice whether we want to contribute, but we can also choose comfort without the contribution. We can bypass contribution altogether...