Another prevalent fallacy surrounding excellence is that an absence
of failure and dysfunction must equal a presence of excellence. It’s like the
decades of psychological studies surrounding disorders: instead of studying cases
of optimal psychological health and exploring that path, the field of psychology
poured its resources into “curing” disorders, as if eliminating disorders was
tantamount to a peak mental and emotional state. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important
to study disorders and disease in attempts to treat those afflicted. But it’s
also dangerous to assume the absence of a disease makes someone healthy.
In the same manner, the lack of conflict in a relationship doesn’t
automatically mean it’s a strong bond. The lack of a physical impairment doesn’t
mean you are in good shape. Not giving the wrong answer is very different from
giving the right one. Just because you haven’t slipped doesn’t mean you are
making progress.
We must not allow ourselves to assume the absence of a
negative equals the presence of the positive or the lack of a problem denotes the
possession of a solution. In fact, it’s often as we battle the negatives that
the positives come to light.
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