Mindset Matters

A homeowner had noticed that some of the trees on his property were beginning to obstruct his view and hired an arborist to trim them down. The arborist deftly scampered up the trees, displaying great skill, and expertly topped them to preserve the homeowner’s view. A neighbor of the homeowner observed the work and walked over to watch the process more closely as the arborist began to tackle some of the tallest trees on the property. The arborist was working on one particularly large tree, and as he neared the top, the trunk began to flex, and the tree swayed dangerously. Every so delicately, the arborist continued to maneuver his way around the upper reaches of the branches and finished topping the tree before carefully descending. As he neared the base of the tree, the arborist quickened his pace as both the trunk and branches felt more secure. When the arborist was just over ten feet off the ground, the homeowner shouted to the arborist, “Be careful up there!” The arborist p...

Experts make their craft look effortless. A perfect spiral on a long touchdown pass. A clutch jump shot to win the game as time expires. An inspiring and eloquently delivered speech. A beautiful piano solo. A breathtaking painting executed with elegant brushstrokes. An impassioned anthem by a singer. All of these performances look so graceful and natural that we fail to consider the sacrifice and struggle making them possible. What’s more, we forget there’s nothing natural or effortless about any of it. Expertise is messy. Only through grueling practice and enduring countless setbacks does anyone get even close to that kind of proficiency. And we believe the lie that this level of skill is somehow magically imparted on a lucky few. We tell ourselves we must have some special anointing to achieve exceptional expertise. And that becomes the cop out for our own lack of effort, creating our mediocre results as a self-fulfilling prophecy. While most of us would never ach...

Many of us have an outlook for how we think our life might go and how we want things to happen. But it’s much rarer to have a philosophy guiding one’s actions regardless of circumstances. And because life never plays out the way we expect, living our lives with just an outlook and mere expectations leaves us in a constant state of reaction. We get tossed to and fro by the constant shifting of circumstances and events outside of our control. However, living in accordance to a philosophy grounds us. A deeply rooted belief system is like an anchor, keeping us from drifting along the currents of circumstance. It gives us something to act on rather than react to. It guides our steps and behavior despite circumstances, allowing us to rise above and see beyond current events. Armed with only an outlook and expectations, you will likely drift aimlessly. You can never react your way to where you desire to be.

Here’s a conversation in “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,” between Susan and Mr. Beaver that happens just before she is to meet Aslan. Mr. Beaver starts the conversation by explaining to a surprised Susan that Aslan is a lion: "Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he … quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion." After a confused pause, Mr. Beaver responded, "Safe? ... Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good.” It is clear during these times that some want “safety” at any cost. They have forgotten that safe is not synonymous with good. And good is certainly not always safe. In fact, pursuing “safety” as an overarching goal and an end in and of itself can be a dangerous endeavor. This is especially true because life is inherently treacherous, and nothing is truly “safe.” It’s impossible to eliminate all risks. So, what people mean when they say they are seeking safety is ...

I hope you have seen the classic cinematic masterpiece, “Napoleon Dynamite.” If not, you need to turn off Game of Thrones reruns or Tiger King and watch that movie. It’s how your shelter-in-place-downtime can be effectively used. And if you have seen the movie, then you are familiar with the beloved character, Uncle Rico. Except, he is not beloved. He is creepy. And quite sad. And although his character creates some hilarious moments in the movie, you wouldn’t want to hang around people like that. You wouldn’t want him babysitting your children or even your llama. You probably wouldn’t even want to buy Tupperware from him. Uncle Rico is still trapped in high school. The past has such a hold on him that he is unable to move forward into the future. He is still haunted by a potentially glorious moment that slipped through his fingers as a teenager. As he sees it, his impact and influence peaked in high school. Content replaying the exploits of his past, Uncle Rico’s mind is...

There was once a man sitting in his house and worried about his leaky roof. Anxiously, and almost obsessively, he keeps checking the weather report to see if rain is in the forecast. Seeing that there is a chance of rain, he gets on the internet to explore ways of delaying the rain. He’s heard of rain dances, can there be a ceremony for the opposite? Like a drought two-step? A sunny shuffle? He checks the weather report again. Still rain. Surely there must be a way to change the weather. He checks Amazon for a device that can alter weather systems (after all, Amazon has everything, right?). No luck, Amazon is fresh out of weather machines. Maybe he can set up all his fans outside and point them at the clouds, pushing them away. He even employs a hair dryer or two. That doesn’t seem to work either, so he checks the forecast again: rain. Drat! After many more glances at the weather report and even a few rain dances done in reverse order, the man collapses, exhausted by bo...

The fear of failure and the fear of being wrong are two important fears to overcome in life. It’s almost impossible to accomplish anything of importance without a significant risk of failing and/or being wrong. But I think both of those fears stem from an even deeper concern: looking foolish. It’s why no one asks a question after a convoluted calculus lecture. The professor ends the lecture with “Any questions?” and no one has a clue what’s going on, but every student is afraid to admit he or she is confused.    Every student is thinking, “What if everyone else understands this and I’m the only one not getting it?” So no one speaks up. No one questions. They would rather all be wrong together than risk appearing foolish trying to uncover the right answer individually. It’s why companies do things “the way we’ve always done them” just because that’s the way they’ve always done them. Plenty of people will have an idea for a much better solution, but they will keep it...

Last night I finally got around to watching the film, “A Quiet Place” with John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. If you aren’t familiar, the setting of the movie is a post-apocalyptic earth that has been overrun with vicious creatures that are blind, but have an incredibly acute sense of hearing. And the movie centers around a family who must live in nearly complete silence to avoid alerting these creatures and being attacked. If you think your social distancing has been rough, you’ve gotta watch this movie! But there’s a scene towards the end of the movie that really caught my attention. The father of the family (Lee) is having a conversation with his daughter (Regan) via sign language. She is deaf and Lee has been working on creating a hearing aid for her throughout the movie, but he just can’t quite get it to work for her. While Lee tries to explain to Regan that he is experimenting with some design changes, she erupts with frustration and hopelessness: Lee: This time, I took ...

There’s an old Quaker proverb that says, “When you pray, move your feet.” Some folks seem to think faith is sitting on your hands and waiting for God to answer   your request. Or it’s sticking your head in the sand and expecting God to take care of everything. I think faith is moving forward amid uncertainty and trusting God to direct your steps. Like the Quaker proverb, it’s getting your feet moving while you pray and trust Him for guidance. It’s easy to take a passive role in life, expecting God to not only show you the way but also clear a path for you. Being content to remain a spectator until you can see everything lining up, then telling yourself, “I am praying for more clarity” to justify a lack of movement. Sometimes God only lets us see our next step. He shows us the trail at our feet, not where the path ahead leads. I think this creates more intimacy with Him and intensifies our prayers. After all, if we waited until the road ahead was completely illuminated a...

My job can take many different forms on a given day and include various roles. I am a coach, a planner, a confidant, an advisor, a counselor, a sounding board, a dry shoulder, and sometimes even a marital referee. But if I were to boil it all down, I could summarize much of what I do into a single objective: Protecting individuals from trading away an enduring benefit for a fleeting comfort or convenience. Unfortunately, this trade is common in our financial lives. We spend money on something trivial in the moment that could have been used for something far more valuable in the future. We dismantle a long-term investment strategy because of temporary uncertainty. We burden ourselves with debt, slowing our progress towards our financial goals. We put a one-week vacation on a credit card but take months after it’s over to finally pay for it. We neglect budgeting, so instead of telling our money where to go at the beginning of the month, we scratch our heads at the end of the mont...

We live in a world full of hares. People darting from one thing to another. Always looking for a shortcut. Constantly seeking a quick fix. Ever searching for a hack. And more than anything, they want it NOW! Speed seems to have replaced diligent planning and patient determination. It’s all about quick results, immediate feedback and instant gratification. People seem to be less concerned with the direction they are headed than how fast they are moving. They don’t know where they are going – and are quite possibly moving in the wrong direction – but at least they’re making good time! But the pace and aimless effort catches up. They get jaded and burn out. Or they simply end up “lost.” They fail to notice that movement isn’t progress. They don’t consider that sheer velocity, without control and accuracy, is dangerous and destructive. They forget the tortoise wins. Every. Single. Time. “It matters not how slowly you go. It only matters that you do not stop.” – Confucio...

I am standing in the kitchen putting groceries away and my wife shows me a container of Cool Whip, pointing to the expiration date which is about 18 months out. She says, “I am a little suspicious of dairy that doesn’t expire for a year. Probably unhealthy preservatives in there.” Somewhat taken aback by her observation, I think to myself, “Really? You think maybe Cool Whip isn’t healthy? I don’t think anyone is masquerading Cool Whip as a nutritious superfood.” The product is literally just hydrogenated oil and cream mixed with sugar. That’s probably 99.5% of the ingredients! We shouldn’t be too surprised if the other half a percent is toxic preservatives or even rat poison. Think about it, when people start talking about going on a diet, what are the foods they cut out? Dairy, hydrogenated fats and sugar are always at the top of the list. So, the food wizards at Kraft get together and decide, “Let’s take some highly processed oil, add the most unhealthy, fattening form ...