The Opposite of Fear

Good is the opposite of bad. Rich is the opposite of poor. Pleasure is the opposite of pain. Joy is the opposite of sorrow. Excitement is the opposite of boredom. I think we can all agree on those. But what about fear, what is the opposite of fear? It’s not confidence, because elite soldiers or extreme athletes exude confidence even in the midst of fear. What if the opposite of fear is simply relief?

The opposite of fear is certainly not joy or fulfilment. It’s not pleasure or love. It’s not excitement or jubilation. At best, if you are to run away from fear, the best case scenario is probably relief. Feelings of regret, uncertainty and confusion are all likely outcomes as well. And even if you manage to find relief, that sensation is most likely temporary.

However, the gifts often lie just on the other side of fear if we are willing to face it and overcome the temptation to flee. Joy and fulfillment, confidence and clarity, even triumph, these are spoils when we engage our fear rather than run from it. Relief is short lived, but regret lasts a lifetime. March forward into fear.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Primed for Progress

Just as some pumps need to be primed to work effectively, our lives need to be “primed” to flow efficiently. Good mornings and productive days don’t happen by accident, and by “priming” your day, you can set yourself up for better results. Does it mean you won’t have bad days? Of course not, but it’s making your day happen instead of just waiting for what happens. Once again, it’s a choice of being proactive rather than reactive. You will still have challenges and difficulties, but how you face those hurdles and respond to the struggles will be different with a primed mindset. I am sure there are many ways to prime your day and set the tone for the hours ahead, and what works for one won’t necessarily work for all. However, the process of creating a plan or a model of how things should unfold is a great place for anyone to start. Also, as I have mentioned before, how you actually start the morning is critical - the battle with the alarm clock is your first chance at victory for

Flower Among Thorns

About six or seven years ago, my wife was around three months pregnant as we eagerly anticipated the birth of another child. One night, as I lay sleeping, I had a dream that our baby was born. It was a beautiful little girl with thin, wispy hair and large, bright eyes punctuating her beautiful face. I held her proudly in my arms and stared down at this precious little creation. I carefully handed her off to her older brother, who was just a toddler himself, as he sat on the coach, arms outstretched, anxiously awaiting the chance to hold his baby sister. I helped him prop up a pillow underneath his little arms to help support my daughter and then stepped back to take in the amazing sight as he gazed down at her with both pride and amazement in his eyes. As I stood there watching them, the dream quickly faded. When I woke up, my eyes met the tearful glance of my wife. “I’m bleeding,” she said as she fought back the emotions, “I think I am miscarrying.” Those words sunk deeply i

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog