Mindset Matters

As I have mentioned before, I believe each and every one of us is specially created and gifted to live a life of unique impact and significance. I also believe those gifts – the talents and tools required to become who we are designed to be – are already inside of us. However, mining those gifts and bringing them to the surface so you can share them with the world is no easy task. Imagine a land owner in Texas during the early 1900s who has just discovered oil reserves buried under his ranch. Let’s also assume he owns the mineral rights to whatever lies beneath the surface of his land. He would no doubt be thrilled to learn he has millions of dollars' worth of oil just waiting to be harvested. However, if that’s as far as he goes, just discovering that precious resource, it will never do him or anyone any good. Even though this rancher literally sits on top of great potential wealth, the real work has only just begun. He must dig deep into the earth, drilling into the...

When I sit down with a new client and look at long term goals and needs to begin charting their financial course, one of the things we consider are potential obstacles. We spend time discussing and identifying possible road blocks so we can then create solutions around or through that barrier. Isolating and identifying likely hurdles and obstructions along a path to any goal is an important step to overcoming those hurdles. Along the path of life, you are likely your own biggest obstacle. And I am not just picking on you; I realize I am my own biggest obstacle as well. A lot of the excuses people make regarding their station in life and their circumstances are really just blame being deflected and placed where it doesn’t belong. For example, “I don’t have enough time” is often code for, “I don’t get up early enough” or “I waste too much time” or “I don’t prioritize my day.” Complaints about lacking opportunity commonly arise from someone not being prepared for the opportunity...

Inoculation, defined by the dictionary as, “the act or an instance of inoculating, especially the introduction of an antigenic substance or vaccine into the body to produce immunity to a specific disease.” To paraphrase, inoculation is proactively exposing the body to a potentially harmful substance, causing the immune system to strengthen and adapt, making the body more resilient to disease. What if you adapted that same strategy towards other areas of your life? Afraid of confrontation? Choose small, minor conflicts that force you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in to make confrontation less overwhelming in the future. Afraid of public speaking? Start finding small groups to speak to or maybe even read in front of your family. Intimidated by the gym? Just go in and walk on a treadmill. The idea is to expose yourself to just enough pressure to cause your mindset to adapt and adjust, but not so much that it crushes you. In time, you will build up an “immunity” a...

John F Kennedy was a fantastic orator and gave many profound and impactful speeches. Of all of his thought-provoking quotes, one of my favorites is, “There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long-range risks of comfortable inaction.” President Kennedy led our nation during some very tumultuous and volatile times. There were seasons of extreme uncertainty with seemingly no right answers to issues the world faced. As the nation sought safety and security, Kennedy understood risks must be taken to ensure the protection of our nation. Safety and security are illusions. Both action and inaction entail risk. A decision to act or a decision not to decide each brings with it certain hazards. Life is fraught with danger regardless of what you do. The moment you were conceived, you started facing risks. In fact, life is so risky, it will kill you eventually. Guaranteed. You can choose to proactively take the risk of action on your terms, with a potential ...

How often do you check your fuel? Well, when it comes to your vehicle, you probably have a reminder right there on your dash showing where your fuel level sits. At the gas station, you have choices for several different grades of gasoline, all methodically tested to perform at different levels of efficiency.   The higher the octane level, the higher performance the fuel is capable of producing. Some vehicles will run fine at 85 octane gasoline, but a Ferrari requires 93 or even higher. The more performance desired, the higher quality of fuel required. Checking your car’s fuel is convenient and straightforward, but how often do you check the fuel for your life? Your body requires fuel to perform and junk food fuel will produce garbage performance. Your mind also needs to be fed, and sludgy, toxic fuel will produce destructive tendencies in your thought patterns and perspectives. You can’t expect great results with mediocre fuel. If you desire excellence as an outcome, ...

According to multiple studies and extensive research, over two thirds of lottery winners end up broke or bankrupt. Nearly 80% of NFL players are bankrupt or financially insolvent within five years of retirement. Basketball players aren’t much better, with 60% of NBA retirees filing for bankruptcy within five years of leaving the game. How is this possible?!? How does wealth vanish so quickly and leave previously rich individuals destitute? While there are many possible reasons and theories that I won’t go into here, we can sum up a lot of it with the fact they came up too fast. Money and fame flooded into their lives before they were properly prepared to handle it. Their behavior, perspectives and mindsets didn’t have time to adapt to the new challenges and scenarios they faced. Ultimately, they allowed themselves to be ruined by their own success and prosperity. When a diver spends time at significant ocean depth, the pressure of the water causes physiological changes in...

On the wall at my gym there is a disclaimer sign, warning members to “cease activity and consult a physician if you experience any pain, discomfort, shortness of breath, light headedness or nausea.” In addition to those symptoms, I also get hot and sweaty. I can only assume I am allergic to working out and I should quit any and all activities related to exercise immediately! Now, I understand the gym has that sign to reduce their liability, but if I actually followed those directives, my workouts would be cut drastically short. I would be constantly interrupting my training with frequent doctor visits, asking about the strange sensations of rapid heart rate and sweating, and I would never accomplish anything. I go to the gym to stay in shape, not to be comfortable. In fact, it’s the very act of pushing the body out of its comfort zone, stretching its limits, that triggers the adaptations leading to better health and fitness. Muhammad Ali once said, “I don’t count my sit ...

To the world, I may look confident and strong, but that is not always the case. But it is also not a façade. Any confidence or strength I show comes from a careful balance of being honest with myself, from an awareness of who I am. I am weak and fragile. I feel fear and anxiety. I hurt and experience pain. I cry. I get confused and frustrated. I am overwhelmed and intimidated. I don’t have all the answers, nor do I know what the road ahead will entail. And what I do know is often daunting. I know the path will be difficult. I know it will be steep and narrow. I know it will be lonely at times. I know there will be boulders and obstacles blocking my way. I know I don’t have the solutions, at least not yet, to overcome those barriers. I know I lack the strength to complete the journey on my own. But I also know the strength will come, not all at once, but in the moments when I need it most. I know I am not alone. And with that knowledge, I will step into the arena. I will...

We obviously have an entitlement problem in this society. Everybody believes he or she is special and that life owes them something. We think we “deserve” an education, a good job, retirement and health benefits, happiness, and success. Those things have become so commonplace that people forget those blessings only exist with sacrifice and effort, even if it wasn’t their own work, and none of those things are due anyone. Part of the problem may be kids growing up with eighth place trophies, being sheltered from failure and having sub-par effort being celebrated because no one wants to hurt little Johnny’s feelings. But it isn’t because Johnny isn’t special; he is, but he has been given the wrong perspective on “special.” I believe each one of us is uniquely gifted in specific areas and commissioned with specific duties to deliver those skills and talents to the world. I believe there is entitlement, but it may not be how you think of it. There are a lot of people waiting ...

Do you work for it or wish for it? It seems we are surrounded by a generation of wishers – people with lofty aspirations and dreams, but no blood, sweat and tears behind them to make it happen. It’s as if individuals are waiting to be discovered by some altruistic entity rather than sacrificing and grinding for what they believe in and say they want. I think a lot of those folks are in for a rude awaking when they realize there is no Prince Charming to come rescue them and there’s no glass slipper to wear. There’s no cousin who is Nigerian royalty, seeking to wire them millions of dollars. No hand outs and no free lunches. Cinderella has no Fairy Godmother. There is one lesson we can take from Cinderella though. She played the part. She didn’t just dream of being a princess, she acted like one. She showed up to the ball, presented herself as best she knew how, and danced. She didn’t just wait at home for the Prince to stop by the house and have her start trying on shoes. ...

About six or seven years ago, my wife was around three months pregnant as we eagerly anticipated the birth of another child. One night, as I lay sleeping, I had a dream that our baby was born. It was a beautiful little girl with thin, wispy hair and large, bright eyes punctuating her beautiful face. I held her proudly in my arms and stared down at this precious little creation. I carefully handed her off to her older brother, who was just a toddler himself, as he sat on the coach, arms outstretched, anxiously awaiting the chance to hold his baby sister. I helped him prop up a pillow underneath his little arms to help support my daughter and then stepped back to take in the amazing sight as he gazed down at her with both pride and amazement in his eyes. As I stood there watching them, the dream quickly faded. When I woke up, my eyes met the tearful glance of my wife. “I’m bleeding,” she said as she fought back the emotions, “I think I am miscarrying.” Those words sunk deeply i...

I have to rant just a bit following up my  Quick Fix post from a couple days ago. I recently saw  THIS E Trade commercial and it epitomizes the broken perspective so pervasive in our culture. If you didn’t hit the link, the commercial shows a bunch of partiers passed out alongside a pool and the aftermath of last night’s bash. Then it says, “some people can afford to wake up at the crack of noon … but you aren’t some people. Don’t get mad, get E Trade.” First of all, you have the blatant promotion of a quick fix, the ol’ get-rich-quick fallacy. The ad is trying to tell us that the secret road to wealth is as easy a trading a few stocks.   It insinuates you and I can be independently wealthy, effortlessly and quickly, by using their platform and software to outthink and out trade the masses. By the way, the average E Trade account is under $18K (not exactly wealth, nor is it enough to even buy a new car) and if you adjust for inflation, the average account value ...

The microwave was invented in 1946 by radar engineers and provided homes with a shortcut for cooking and warming up food. Email allowed messages to transfer instantaneously across the world and provided a short cut for communication. Although these innovations work amazingly well and have enhanced efficiency in our daily lives, shortcuts and quick fixes are rarely the answer. In fact, they generally do more harm than good as they distract from the path we should be following. Yet, we remain enchanted and mesmerized by the mirage of the quick fix. According to multiple research sources, the diet pill industry is a $70 billion dollar a year industry.  To put that into perspective, if you were to stack $100 bills flat on top of one another, $70 billion would create a stack nearly 45 miles high. How is this possible when the mystery of weight loss is no secret at all? We know that all we have to do to lose weight is eat a little less and move a little more, but I guess that ju...

They say if you want apples, the best time to plant an apple tree is 20 years ago. Since few of us have ready access to a flux capacitor, the next best time to plant that tree is as soon as possible. Do what you can, when you can, to the best of your abilities. It’s never too late to do the right thing. And while many have surrendered the action of planting because it’s “too late,” there’s another group that thinks they have all the time in the world. They know they want apples someday, but feel as though they have plenty of opportunity to plant their trees in the future.   However, no one knows how many planting days they have allotted. Life can change in an instant and no one is promised another season to sow their seeds. There is never a convenient time to make the sacrifice of burying your seeds in the ground now and begin cultivating the trees for fruit in the future.   If this were easy, the trees you plant today would produce apples tomorrow, but that’s no...

In a typical year, termites destroy far more homes than hurricanes even though the latter gets all the news. The dramatic and violent destruction of a hurricane demands our immediate attention while the gradual devastation of thousands of tiny termites will go unnoticed until it is too late to do anything about it. Also, the storm hits a large population, often banding them together as they brace themselves against a foe. But the termites attack isolated victims, often invisible to the rest of the world. Such is life. The vigilant among us are always on the lookout for the hurricanes, but too often we can miss the termites as they quietly devour unnoticed. Both development and destruction are often slow, gradual processes. Everyone remembers the climactic collapses of companies like Enron and Bear Sterns, but for many companies, like Kodak, Nokia, Sears, K-Mart, Toys-R-Us, Blockbuster Etc, it was a gradual decline that, in some cases, spanned decades because no one noticed the t...

There is a widespread misconception in our world that motivation leads to action. That’s why so many people are sitting around, waiting to be motivated and inspired to act. Even if it does come, motivation is often short lived and any resulting actions are not sustained for very long. In reality, action is what leads to motivation and inspiration, not the other way around. Choosing to move forward into the unknown has a tendency to unleash both the creativity and determination necessary to make actions sustainable. The emotion of motivation and the feeling of inspiration are often playing catch up to your actions. Your brain is designed to keep you alive, not to encourage you to flourish. Left to its devices, it will rarely provide you with much more ambition than is necessary to maintain survival. But if you force yourself into action, your mind has an amazing capacity to support that action with the necessary fuel of motivation and vision of inspiration. However, it won...

This morning at the gym, as I was getting ready for work, I overheard a group of men chatting in the locker room. There were four of them, all in their late fifties to late sixties, and they were sharing “war stories” about what they had done, what they had accomplished, adventures they had experienced and what they used to be. It was a wake-up call for me. These men may have two or three more decades or more left on this planet and instead of looking forward, they were stuck celebrating the past. Now, I don’t want to be too hard on these guys, maybe this is not typical of them. Maybe I just happened to catch them on a day when they were all reminiscing. But all too often, I find people to be perfectly content to have already fought their best fight, to have sung their best song, to have created their best art, and they are no longer striving to surpass what they have already accomplished. They are Used-To-Bees. The problem with Used-To-Bees, as Les Brown would say, is th...

The word “sacrifice” comes from two Latin roots – sacer, meaning “sacred” or “holy” and faciō , “to do” or “make” – so quite literally, “to make holy or sacred”. So what does sacred mean? Beyond the religious definitions, it simply means to be highly valued and important. To be set apart for a higher or greater purpose. So when we make a sacrifice, we are choosing to make something sacred in our life, setting it apart as of higher value or for a higher purpose. When we give up the cheesecake after dinner, we are setting our long term health as a higher priority, a greater purpose, than the temporary enjoyment of the tasty dessert. However, the opposite is also true. When we cave in and succumb to a temporary urge or temptation, we are then assigning a higher value to a temporary pleasure, sacrificing the long term for the quick fix. Every day you make sacrifices. When you choose an action you are assigning priority and value to the elements of your life. You hardly go a mom...

I strive to always be proactive and have a game plan for my life, for my year and for my day. But sometimes life hits so hard the plan falls by the wayside and it’s just about getting back up after I’ve been punched in the mouth. Last week was one of those weeks. I feel as if God is telling me, “Can you practice what you preach? Will you put your money where your mouth is? Will you walk the talk when all you want to do is lie down and rest.” I encourage others to stay in the fight and battle through the trials in their life; what will I do when it’s my fight and I am the one struggling? Can I be a good example to others who have a much tougher fight than I do? I used to pray for my life to go smoothly, for things to work themselves out. Basically, I was asking God for “easy.” I now realize that was the wrong request, and like Garth Brooks sings, sometimes God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayer. I should not ask that the mountain be less steep and the path cleared. I s...

Too many people are waiting for permission to sing their song. They are waiting for acceptance and authorization from the world around them. Martin Luther King Jr famously proclaimed, “I have a dream!” But what may have been more accurate would be to say that dream had him; that God had placed a song in his heart, and it burned within his soul. Thankfully, he didn’t wait for the permission or invitation to sing. If you wait for that invitation, you will likely be left to languish in unrealized expectation. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t want you to sing. It isn’t interested in hearing your song and the dream behind it. It isn’t because of the notes in your music, but rather it is because your voice reminds them of the neglected melody trapped inside the shadows of their own hearts. Others will try to silence you, because in doing so, they hope to quiet the burning inside their own souls, the cry to give their own song light and life. Most people will be fight to ignore their ...