The Power of Agreements

Agreements are a powerful and important part of life, but most people overlook the most critical agreements of all. If you order pizza and they promise delivery in 30 minutes or less, what do you do if the delivery takes 35 minutes? You demand a free pizza! If your package from Amazon was supposed to arrive on Tuesday but it doesn’t get delivered until Thursday, rest assured someone is going to hear about it. And we are all about the money back guarantee. Whether it’s a job agreement, a phone contract, a vehicle warranty or a marriage, our lives are structured by agreements and when others break those arrangements with us, we are quick to call it to their attention and demand retribution or a refund.

However, how quick are you to call yourself out when you break agreements with yourself? We don’t hesitate to let others know when a contract is broken or when they have let us down, but we are far too lenient with ourselves in the same position. Whether it’s a commitment to exercise, to study more, to eat better, to save more money or to simply become a better parent or spouse, we seem to have no problem violating those agreements and letting ourselves down.

According to a recent Nielsen study on New Year’s Resolutions, nearly four resolutions out of ten are already given up by February of the same year. Many of these people are trying to make life long changes, but can’t even keep the commitment an entire month! People are far too comfortable breaching a contract with themselves.

The agreements you make with yourself are the most powerful contracts you hold, and the most devastating when broken, because you have complete control of the parties involved. There is no one else to blame when things get sour. Get used to holding yourself to a higher standard and sharing that standard with others. Let trusted friends or a spouse in on your agreements with you. Let them witness the contract and hold you accountable. Even be willing to impose penalties on yourself if arrangements are broken. Make it very uncomfortable to break an agreement with you. Enough people in your life will let you down, don’t be one of them.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on...

The Art of Intentionality

“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make you.” – Richie Norton I am not even sure who Richie Norton is, but I love that quote! I imagine a ship drifting out to sea, pushed around by the wind and the waves. No course of direction, yet the captain is frustrated when the ship ends up dashed against the rocks, trapped on a sandbar or marooned on an inhospitable island. It is easy to complain when life takes us where we do not want to go. But who is really to blame if we have never set our sails to align us along an appropriate course? Do we blame the waves, wind and the weather? Or should we blame the captain of the ship? It is our life and our ship. We must set our sails with intentionality and determined choices. Otherwise, we are doomed to aimlessly drift along according to the choices and decisions of others.

Hasty Hares

We live in a world full of hares. People darting from one thing to another. Always looking for a shortcut. Constantly seeking a quick fix. Ever searching for a hack. And more than anything, they want it NOW! Speed seems to have replaced diligent planning and patient determination. It’s all about quick results, immediate feedback and instant gratification. People seem to be less concerned with the direction they are headed than how fast they are moving. They don’t know where they are going – and are quite possibly moving in the wrong direction – but at least they’re making good time! But the pace and aimless effort catches up. They get jaded and burn out. Or they simply end up “lost.” They fail to notice that movement isn’t progress. They don’t consider that sheer velocity, without control and accuracy, is dangerous and destructive. They forget the tortoise wins. Every. Single. Time. “It matters not how slowly you go. It only matters that you do not stop.” – Confucio...

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog