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The Gift of Time


Following up on yesterday's post, I want to talk about a very specific gift: the gift of time, the gift of every new morning. The clichéd phrase "every day is a gift" doesn't carry the same weight I feel it should. To me, that phrase has a very deep impact.

When I was 19 years old, the heat exchanger in my house cracked just a few days before my 20th birthday. I went to bed that evening like any other, not knowing carbon monoxide would be spewing out all night long. I was severely poisoned but I woke up. The recovery was long and frustrating but I was alive. It took a while, but I started to understand there was no reason for me to still be breathing and I finally started to appreciate the gift of every new day.

Years later, at 34, I was diagnosed with my first deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a blot clot deep inside my calf. I was treated with blood thinners and the clot slowly dissolved. Then it happened again. And again. Three years after my first experience with a DVT, a part of a new clot broke off and hit my lungs on the night of my daughter's 9th birthday, just minutes after learning my precious wife was pregnant with our fifth child.

Initially, I didn't realize I had a pulmonary embolism, but I was concerned about this because of the extreme pain in my lung and my history of DVTs. I went to the ER and was misdiagnosed. I won't get into all that, but I was sent home with an "all clear"my lungs. It was over four weeks before I was given the correct diagnosis, pulmonary embolism. I had walked around with a blood clot in my lungs, working out, running sprints and flirting with disaster every day, completely unaware. I was placed on blood thinners again, which I am now on indefinitely, and was once more reminded how precious each new day is.

Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, and those experiences were a very real and painful example of that truth. Every day is a gift from God, but how we live our life is our gift back to Him. At the end of my life, I will hand over that Gift, with no chance for finishing touches or revisions.

That thought was haunting after the carbon monoxide poisoning. My life had been selfish and "safe" up until that day. I was taking the easy path and risking very little for myself and even less for others. I knew I was not living out my purpose and not giving God a very good return on the days He with which He has blessed me. It was both terrifying and embarrassing to consider.

No more. I knew I must dare to live a life investing in those around me and sacrificing to help others achieve their dreams and desires. Those reminders of the fragility of life have remained some of the biggest blessings of my life.

If today was your last day on earth, would you be satisfied with the Gift you've created so far? Would you be proud to hand it over to your Creator? Or would you give anything for another chance to rectify a wrong, to reach out to a loved one, to put some finishing touches on your Gift, even if it was just one more day? There are many days when I don't feel like being uncomfortable, taking risks or being vulnerable. Days when it would be easier to slack off, to rest a little and be more like the world around me. But then I am reminded of the Gift. Would I be ready to hand it over yet, would I be proud of the finished product? No, there is much work yet to be done. I must do whatever I can today, because that is what I've been given.

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