Skip to main content

A Life Well Lived



My grandfather lived an extraordinary life. Just so you understand the type of person he was, you should know he once broke his leg as a young man, yet was still out plowing fields that same day. He never once received medical attention for the fracture and never missed a day of work. In the Navy during World War II, he received word that his wife, my grandmother, was gravely ill. His leave was denied, but he left anyway, embarking on a journey to see his bride that would rival the best Hollywood love stories. Later in life, as a chicken farmer, he ended up going bankrupt. He lost his farm and his livelihood as the unpaid creditors stacked up. But he picked himself back up, dusted himself off and began a successful career in the insurance industry. He then went and repaid every one of his former creditors, even though the bankruptcy courts absolved any and all legal obligation to do so. He did it because it was the right thing to do. That was my grandpa.

Despite these and many other stories, the event that best illustrates my grandpa’s character happened much later in life. In October of 1999, the doctors found a large aneurism on his descending aorta. Because of the size and location of the aneurism, the procedure required to fix his condition would shut down his kidneys, forcing my grandpa to be on dialysis for the remainder of his life. My grandpa was an active and productive man, even late in his later years, and being on dialysis would destroy much of his quality of life. It would have prevented him from doing many of the things that brought him joy and fulfillment, so he decided to forego the surgery.

My grandpa wanted to maintain the quality of his life, even if the quantity of his days would be cut short. To extend the length of his life at the expense of the amount of life in those days was unacceptable to him. For three and a half years, my grandfather continued to live the life he loved. On March 10th of 2003, the aneurism started to leak and my grandpa began to bleed to death internally. For three more days, he held on to life so he could say his goodbyes to those he loved. Then, on the morning of March 13, my grandpa passed out of this life into eternity.

Beyond his original diagnosis, my grandfather was blessed with another three and a half years of full, rich life. He died the way he lived, on his terms, doing what was necessary rather than what was expected. My grandpa was more afraid of not living than he was of dying. Such is how we all ought to live.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Commitment

  You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more presentat

Glutton for Punishment

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this