Are You Wishing or Working?

Do you work for it or wish for it? It seems we are surrounded by a generation of wishers – people with lofty aspirations and dreams, but no blood, sweat and tears behind them to make it happen. It’s as if individuals are waiting to be discovered by some altruistic entity rather than sacrificing and grinding for what they believe in and say they want.

I think a lot of those folks are in for a rude awaking when they realize there is no Prince Charming to come rescue them and there’s no glass slipper to wear. There’s no cousin who is Nigerian royalty, seeking to wire them millions of dollars. No hand outs and no free lunches. Cinderella has no Fairy Godmother.

There is one lesson we can take from Cinderella though. She played the part. She didn’t just dream of being a princess, she acted like one. She showed up to the ball, presented herself as best she knew how, and danced. She didn’t just wait at home for the Prince to stop by the house and have her start trying on shoes. She did what a princess would do and she took risks to do it. Even after failing initially, she didn’t give up.

If you want to be a millionaire, you can’t do broke people stuff and expect to end up wealthy. You have to start acting the part and doing what millionaires do. If you want to make $500k a year, which is roughly $250 an hour, you must start doing $250 an hour work. Now, you might not get paid that initially, but if you start putting out $250 an hour value or more, someone will eventually start paying you for it. However, you can’t do $50 an hour work and expect to be paid $500k a year. Wishing you were a better parent won’t make you one. You have to start doing what a better parent would do. Hoping for a six pack abs won’t make you lose weight, you have to start making the sacrifices that people with six packs make. Dreaming about running your own company while you watch reality TV and play video games won’t do the trick. You need to start living like successful entrepreneurs live (hint: it isn’t Keeping up with the Kardashians or Dancing with the Stars reruns).

Let me be clear, this isn’t fake-it-till-you-make-it, this is acting “as if.” To be the person you wish to become or to get to where you want to go, you start doing the work now as if you are already there. And do that work with the expectation that the rewards will come, but the effort goes out first. And you have to be willing to put yourself out there, risk and be vulnerable. You have to show up to the ball and dance.

Comments

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on

Glutton for Punishment

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this

Commitment

You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more presentat

Mindset Matters

Search This Blog