Mindset Matters

  There is a phrase you may have heard, “The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” I think there is often a fine line between luck and persistence. Imagine you are a baseball player and every time you are up to bat, you close your eyes and swing for the fences (granted, this is not a great strategy for success, but humor me for a moment). Even though your eyes are closed, if you have enough at-bats, eventually you will connect. So, what do we call it when you finally hit a home run? Yes, in that one at-bat, it sure seems like luck. But if that was your ten thousandth attempt, it begins to feel more like perseverance and persistence. They say Thomas Edison invented the filament that would make his incandescent light bulb possible with his ten thousandth experiment. Was he lucky? I think we can all look at someone like Edison and agree he had perseverance, not luck. He was committed and persistent, yet there still may have been a certain amount of luck in that final experiment. H...

  We are an impatient bunch. We don’t just want the quick fix; we also want the extra mile without walking out that distance. We want to magically end up at the end of the mile. If we could simply teleport to the finish line, that would make us all much happier. We look for the giant leap but overlook the small steps. We seek out the next Big Thing that will turn our life around rather than make the many minute but intentional course corrections to get us going in the right direction.   Progress in life is often scraped together just inches at a time. It is easy to get caught up looking for the next mile, the next yard or even the next foot. But we must not be fixated on uncovering only the solutions that launch us forward the next mile when the inches we need are all around us.

  A couple of days ago I was in a situation that provided me with some very palpable reminders of the loss of a great friend. There was a particular moment that flooded me with emotion and brought me to a place where time stood still. More than standing still, time felt warped. My friend’s passing felt as present as if it was happening all over again. The feelings and reactions I felt three years ago were almost tangible, just like the desk in front of me on which my fingertips were resting. The emotions of that loss pierced my soul like a double-edged sword. Powerful and raw, they were nearly overwhelming. But only one of those edges was pain. Uncomfortable as the hurt was, the other edge the emotion brought with it was joy. Not joy in the loss, but joy stemming from the gratitude that I had something, someone, so precious to lose. I have a good life, a great life, filled with countless blessings. But like all of us, I can get caught up dwelling on the experience of loss. And ...

  Hope is a great feeling. It can be fun and exciting to experience hope. Hope is necessary for a positive outlook in life. Hope is a great subject for Hallmark cards. But hope alone is not enough. Hope without a plan becomes frustrating. It can actually become a burden. An irritant. Hope without a plan can leave us feeling helpless once the initial emotions have subsided because we have an idea of how things could be with no strategy for making it so. That is where vision must come in. Vision is hope married to a plan. Vision is not just imagining how things could be, but also seeing a potential pathway to that desired future. Hope might be the spark, but vision is what keeps the fire burning. Proverbs says that “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Without it we become depressed. Our actions seem futile. We may lack meaning and purpose. Yes, hope is important. But hope dies in the absence of a plan. Proverbs also says, “where there is no vision, the people perish.” We nee...

  Sometimes the blank page in front of me can be intimidating. When the motivation is fading and the inspiration is fleeting, just the act of beginning can be a huge hurdle. Where do I even start? That feeling can carry over far beyond a literal blank page or empty canvas. In life, we are often faced with a task, a journey, or even a battle and the path ahead is unclear. There is no clear starting line, no preset course, no road map. Not knowing where to begin is overwhelming. What do you do? When we are facing those moments, it is easy to freeze up or even retreat. Maybe we tell ourselves we are waiting for more information, more clarity or more motivation. We say we are holding out until we can determine the best way forward. But life rarely affords us that privilege – identifying the “best” course of action. Often, we must choose a path, and then fully commit. The success or failure of the decision rests not so much in the particular road we chose, but rather in the leve...

  If we are being really honest with ourselves, we must admit that each of us has a master. I don’t mean a boss, an employer, or a team leader or someone else who orders us around from time to time. I mean we are each slaves. Twenty-four seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year, slaves. We live in constant subjugation to our habits, whether good or bad. Habits rule our lives. They are the building blocks of our days, weeks, months and years. To a great extent, our habits determine where we end up in life and how much joy and fulfillment we experience along the way. In many respects, our lives are a product of our habits. However, even though we are in bondage to our habits, that servitude is not fixed. Unlike a traditional slave, we have the freedom to choose our master. We can flee the ruthless and destructive habits that wreak havoc in our lives, but only if we run to a new master. We can only break those bonds by creating new ones – replacing our cruel master with new, co...

  We have all heard the saying, “You never get a second chance at a first impression.” And first impressions are certainly important. It is difficult to break the initial perspective we have of someone or something. A negative experience early on can leave a residue tainting any subsequent interaction. It is why we try so hard to make a good first impression when we meet people, because a bad one never quite wears off. For the same reason, it is crucial to have an intentional and constructive morning routine. You have never met this day before and it is imperative that you start this relationship on the right foot. If your initial interaction is tainted with negative experiences, it will likely leave a harmful residue on the remainder of the day. A blaring alarm clock is already a rocky beginning. Then checking the emails from the office reminding you of all the work you must do later, including the meeting with Bad Body Odor Guy and Shrill Voice Lady, do not make it much better. O...

  Why are we so fixated on the familiar? Why do some of us fight so hard to maintain the status quo even when we simultaneously complain about it? I think part of the issue is that we confuse stability with safety. When life is rapidly changing and circumstances are evolving quickly, we feel unsettled and anxious. Because instability can feel so threatening, it is easy to assume – even if subconsciously – that the opposite must be true: that stability equals safety and predictability brings protection. This can be a dangerous assumption. Because of our hard-wired desire for stability, we can mistakenly choose to stay in a boat slowly sinking in the harbor, rather than board a ship setting out for the ocean. Yes, the vessel on the open seas will hit turbulent waves and encounter storms, but it will also move you along and give you a chance to get to where you need to be. The boat in the harbor might be comfortable – at least for the moment – but you slowly descend into stagnant wate...

  People are naturally pretty good at managing problems. However, when it comes to solving them, human beings fall quite short. We typically look to apply bandages or treat symptoms rather than finding an actual solution. Let me clarify what I mean. Let’s say your car has an oil leak. Super frustrating. But it is a busy week, and you don’t have time to take it down to the shop, so you clean up the oil spot every few days and plan to get the leak fixed down the road at a “more convenient time.” Well, it is never really a “convenient time” to take the car into the shop and the problem persists. Soon, your oil levels are now running a little low, so you stop by the store to buy a couple quarts of oil. You top off the oil, clean up the oil spot in the garage and you are back in business. Every few days you have to clean up the garage floor and every few weeks you have to add a quart or two of oil. It only takes a few minutes each time, but it is a never-ending process. In the momen...

  I think we sometimes confuse passivity with patience. A patient farmer does not stare at his field each morning from a rocking chair, sipping sweet tea as he waits for his crops to grow. That has nothing to do with patience. It is simply being passive, if not just plain lazy. No, the patient farmer gets up early and works the field. He tills the ground, breaking up the hard soil to prepare the field to produce fruit in the future. He plants seeds of opportunity. He waters and fertilizes, ensuring those seeds have the resources and nourishment necessary to flourish. He tirelessly tracks down and eliminates the weeds in the soil that might steal resources from his seeds and choke out their opportunity. Patience is not merely a state of mind, it is a way of living. It is not inaction, but rather, it is the execution of deliberate and determined activities today, in hopes of a future payoff. It is planting now to harvest later. Patience is an activity.  Photo by Markus Spi...