Mindset Matters

  Logic does not have much of a voice when it comes to our emotions and behavior. Logic can reinforce an emotion or a behavior already in place, but it rarely changes their direction. Think about smoking. We’ve known for quite some time it is really bad for us and causes numerous lung maladies over time. But it is often the now-taboo social stigma, the embarrassment of stained teeth and nasty breath and the discomfort of standing outside in the freezing cold to enjoy a few puffs from a cancer stick that get people to quit. Or it is the increasingly painful monetary cost that triggers someone to give up the habit. The emotions attached to all those experiences are often far stronger than the logic of long-term health problems. You can give someone all the reasons, stats, charts, and graphs for eating a better diet, being on a budget, waking up earlier, spending less time on social media, going to the gym, finishing college, reading more, shaking babies less, etc. But without compell...

  There is much attention these days devoted to health and safety. Specifically physical health and safety. This focus – so intense and specific – that the discussion on such a very narrow scope of health and safety is at the exclusion of all other forms and applications. Can we be so caught up in protecting our physical bodies that we have neglected our souls? While we build defenses around the health of our body, are our souls being ravished by fear and isolation? Have we traded one risk for a far greater and more insidious danger? Right now, our entire world is engulfed by the fears and uncertainties caused by a virus. This will eventually pass (maybe) and there will be a new fear on the horizon. Maybe it will be another virus. Maybe the potential for an economic Armageddon. Maybe it will be wars and rumors of wars or some natural disaster. Maybe it will be something specific to you and your own life, something inside your little bubble. My point is, there will always be a...

  Most people try to change others or passively wait for those around them to change. A few people try to change themselves. But what we often miss is changing our environment. An optimal life is rarely created in a poor environment. Think of our environment like soil. Do we expect excellent fruit to be produced in our lives while we are planted in mediocre soil? In farming, the quality of the soil often determines the quality of the crop. I do not believe our lives are much different. Any soil can and will grow weeds. If we ignore our environment and are not intentional about creating our surroundings, we should not be surprised when weeds spring up. Yes, we all experience limitations in shaping our environments, but we must not ignore the agency we do have in making changes to whom and to what we allow ourselves to be exposed. Negative and bitter friends, toxic family members, mindless entertainment, doom and gloom news feeds, unhealthy food – these are elements of your soi...

  Baby giraffes do not have the easiest transition to life outside the womb. For starters, the giraffe gives birth standing up, so the baby pretty much just falls out of the sky at birth. How is that for a rude awakening?!? But it does not get any easier after that. As the calf struggles to his feet, the mother will nudge the calf with her nose, knocking him back to the ground. Again, the calf will fight to get his gangly legs underneath him, only to be pushed over again by mom. If the calf does manage to stand up, the mother may even kick his feet out from under him, sending him back to the hard African soil. Are giraffe moms gunning for the prestigious, “Worst Mothers of the African Savannah” trophy? Why would they exhibit such cruel behavior? What appears to be harsh treatment may actually be the key to survival for the young calf. Growing up on the African continent not only exposes the young calf to harsh environmental pressures, but there is a constant threat from preda...

When it comes to blessings, opportunities and even our own inherent abilities and potential, we are faced with two choices: either take advantage or take for granted. It is impossible to do both, so we must make a choice between the two. When we choose to take advantage, we acknowledge the gift that has been offered to us. We make a decision to live in gratitude. We agree to be stewards of that gift and accept the responsibility of that stewardship. If we choose to take it for granted, we ignore the gift, and it is never fully utilized. Like a tool left out in the elements, it begins to rust and degrade. We shirk the responsibility of wielding its power. We miss out on the opportunity to be a faithful steward. Either way, a choice is made. If we do not make a decision to take advantage of the opportunities presented to us, we default to taking them for granted. So take advantage!

  In an unstable and volatile world, certainty comes at a premium. We buy warranties and insurance, pay extra for guarantees and avoid the unknown, all in seeking to reduce uncertainty. Certainty is expensive for sure. But is it valuable? Investors often give up necessary long-term growth and sustainable retirement income for the temporary “certainty" of fixed income. They fail to consider that bringing fixed income into a rising cost retirement jeopardizes their future even though it feels comfortable in the moment. People stay in dead-end jobs they hate because they have a “guaranteed” paycheck. They don’t pursue their true calling or at least more fulfilling work. They die a little more every day, all for the sake of certainty. And then a recession hits, layoffs begin and they lose that job anyway. People remain in abusive relationships for many reasons, but for some, the uncertainty of being alone is more daunting than the misery of the current abuse. They could leave an...

  It has been said that the first step in finding the right answer is asking the right question. I think I am sometimes guilty of seeking answers to the wrong questions. And maybe it is not a “wrong” question, but there is a better question out there to ask. I am a pretty goal-oriented person. I have many aspirations in several different areas of my life, personal, professional, and even spiritual objectives. I often find myself asking “How can I accomplish such and such?” or “What do I need to do to get to X.” But I wonder, rather than asking “what” and “how” I should instead be asking “who.” I wonder if “Who do I need to become?” is a more important question to answer than “What must I do?” Yes, the steps and the pathway to my goals are both important. But the traveler along that journey – me – I can not afford to overlook. I must change. I must grow. Perhaps I must focus first on who I need to become before I worry about what I need to do. 

  Do you suffer from an imbalance in expectations? Allow me to explain. It is really easy for us to get frustrated when others do not meet our expectations. This is especially true of explicit expectations we place on others and clearly communicate to them. But we also get bent out of shape when people do not meet the implicit expectations, the assumptions we have that others will do something a certain way or perform a certain task. Either way, implicit or explicit, we seem to place a lot of emphasis on the expectations we set on others. But how about the expectations we set on ourselves? Do we have the same grace and patience for others when they do not measure up that we do for ourselves when we do not live up to our own self-imposed expectations? We can easily get upset and frustrated when others let us down, but when we fail ourselves, what happens? Do you give yourself a free pass or at least extra leniency when you do not measure up to expectations? I believe that is t...

  A couple of weeks ago I was settling into our pew at church, trying to make sure all – or at least most – of our six kids were accounted for. I noticed my sister sitting in the pew just ahead of ours and there was a man next to her, sitting too close to be a stranger. The world stopped for just a moment as the reality sank in: the man was my father. A flood of emotions began welling up inside me as I contemplated that being the first time in over five years my dad had been with us in church. As I have been thinking back on that moment over the last few days, I have realized the feelings I had on that morning were similar to the emotions I experienced many years before in my little league days. I remember being a young boy and nervously stepping up to bat and looking into the stands to see if my dad was watching. Seeing him did not change the pitches that would come or the uncertainty I faced, but somehow knowing he was “with” me in the moment gave me calm. I was ready to face wha...