Mindset Matters

  We live in a world that offers so many innovations that amazing has become mundane. We get upset when our phones take a few extra seconds to download an email, but forget that it is a message sent from space! You are receiving a letter from a friend across the country and it is being sent by a satellite orbiting the earth. That’s amazing, even if it does take a few extra seconds sometimes. I still remember when a phone was something attached to a wall that you could only use to talk to someone. It was beyond our comprehension that it would be carried in a pocket and have the ability to receive messages from space and play movies and take crystal clear photos. We (myself included) get irritated when our plane is delayed by 17 minutes, especially if we have connecting flights. We have the ability to travel across the country, New York to LA, in less than six hours, and get bent out of shape because of a few minutes. In the 1800s, it would take six months to go from the Missouri R...

  I have been feeling like I’ve been fighting something off for a few days, so it was no surprise this morning to feel some congestion creeping into my chest. Warming up at the gym, my muscles and joints felt stiff and inflamed. I was already tired and fatigued before the warm-up was over. Then the excuses started coming. The desire to give in crept into my thoughts. I could hear the voice of Resistance trying to convince me to surrender and skip the workout. “Your body deserves a break.” “You need the rest.” And the most insidious one, “You’ve done enough, you have earned the right to relax and take it easy.” While it probably is true that my body could have used the rest and extra recovery, I also knew my mind needed to push back against the Resistance. It needed a fight. I am in the middle of a tough stretch with a lot on my plate and several extra obligations; I needed to start this week with a victory. I forced myself through the workout. I did not break any records....

  Michelangelo was once asked by the pope about the secret of his genius, specifically as it related to one of his famous masterpieces, David. He wanted to know how he was able to create the iconic sculpture. Michelangelo stated that he simply removed every piece of marble that was not David. He chipped away all the stone that did not belong. I think we can learn a lot from this perspective. We are so quick to add something to get a result in life. We add some new supplement or miracle ab toning device to tone up our stomachs instead of cutting out the junk food. We add some magical three-step success program at work instead of eliminating all the wasted time spent on social media and YouTube. We try to earn more money by going to work earlier and staying later but spend part of that time blowing the extra cash buying stupid stuff we don’t need on Amazon.  We try to increase inflow without fixing the leaks in outflow. We are so quick to look to the latest and greatest device, ...

  Remember in junior high when all you really wanted out of life was to fit in? You watched other kids to see what kind of clothes they wore, how they did their hair, how they talked, etc. As a homeschooler, I was especially interested in what “normal” kids did. I was really afraid of being “weird.” I wanted to be normal and not stick out (Looking back at pictures, it’s pretty obvious that goal was never realized. I stuck out. I was weird). Now, I look at a world around me and I see what “normal” has become. It is having a “dad bod,” living paycheck to paycheck, barely tolerating a wife and kids (and avoiding them when possible), and doing the bare minimum to get by so as to not get fired or divorced. It is counting down the days until the next weekend or vacation when happiness can be found for a few days or a week, and looking forward to the day when the kids are out of the house and quitting the job for something called “retirement” is at least a remote possibility. It is blam...

  How often do you think about death? Not just death in general, but your death? Fun conversation starter, I know. But it has struck me recently how this subject seems to elicit pure terror in many members of our society. It’s as if they are just now learning they are mortal and coming to grips with the fact that at some point, something is going to get them. And for quite a few folks, it seems their solution to escaping death is to also avoid living. But could it be a healthy practice to spend more time considering death? Instead of avoiding death, what if we embraced it to see what it can teach us? I know some people who actually write and rewrite their own obituary every so often. Why? Because contemplating death creates a deeper appreciation for life. It helps us cling to what really matters in this existence and works to loosen our grip on the trivial matters of the present. Musing on our own mortality produces perspective. Even the mundane aspects of our days become sweetened...

  Extending grace is easier said than done. Being empathic and honestly seeking to experience circumstances through the eyes of someone else is no easy task either. As mentioned the other day in Extending Grace , both are seemingly rare skillsets in our current society. But I do believe they are skillsets, meaning they can be developed and honed. You can grow in grace and empathy, even if you are like me and do not have a natural leaning toward such qualities. The first step in developing the qualities of grace and empathy may very well be gratitude. When you are grateful for and musing on what you do not deserve, it is easier to extend to others a measure of unmerited kindness as well. Gratitude also makes you more generous. It shifts you out of the natural human tendency to fixate on what you lack, and on to focusing on the blessings in your life instead. It moves you from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance, allowing you to consider more what you can give and less what ...

  What if you were able to accomplish your biggest goals? What if your most grandiose ambitions were achieved? What if your wildest dreams became a reality? And what if you made it to the top of that “mountain,” only to realize everything and everyone who truly mattered in your life was left behind somewhere along the way up? Unfortunately, this is not a hypothetical experience for many seemingly successful individuals. They make it to the summit, only to find themselves alone and unfulfilled because they never really took the time to discern what was most important. The “mountain top” experience is most precious when it is shared with loved ones and those most precious in your life. Otherwise, it is just you standing by yourself, bracing against the cold winds of loneliness and emptiness. Ambition is important, but it must be measured and controlled, or you may find yourself sacrificing the irreplaceable for the irrelevant. Never risk what you cannot afford to lose to gain what yo...

  We seem to be living in a time where empathy for one another is in short supply. Racial issues continue to divide our nation and cause us to fixate on what makes us different rather than focusing on our similarities and what bonds us together. Politics and upcoming elections separate us into groups of conservatives versus liberals or republicans versus democrats, glossing over the fact that at the end of the day we are all Americans. Even health and personal liberty concerns seem to segregate us into camps of mask wearers and social rebels. There seems to be a tendency to forget our opinions are not facts and our perspectives are not perfect. And as a society, we are losing our ability to listen to the beliefs of others or see life from another’s point of view. We treat those who disagree with us not just as wrong and uninformed, but as stupid and immoral. We need grace. For ourselves and for those around us. And that does not imply compromise. We can still hold fast to our v...

  Arianna Huffington, author, and co-founder of the Huffington Post, once wrote, “Ours is a generation bloated with information and starved for wisdom.” It is an interesting paradox, isn’t it? Yet so true. We have nearly unlimited access to information, but without the wisdom to wield that knowledge, it is ineffective. It’s like having all the pieces to a puzzle, but no idea how to fit them together or what the puzzle is supposed to look like. We often lack the framework to make the knowledge useful. We react rather than think. We are educated yet ignorant. We make statements and accusations instead of asking questions. And when we do inquire, we listen to respond rather than listen to learn. We are quick to form opinions, but slow to consider alternatives. We have unlimited data, but discernment is scarce. Information and knowledge are great tools, but like any great tools, they are only beneficial when operated effectively. And like many tools, when misused, they can be quite...

  In 1964, Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for his involvement in the anti-apartheid movements in South Africa as well as for his stance on social justice and organizing protests in defiance of the South African government. For the next 27 years he would remain in prison, almost two decades of that being spent at the brutal Robben Island prison. Subject to inhumane conditions and harsh punishment for nearly three decades, Mandela was finally freed on February 11 th , 1990. But as he prepared to be released, Mandela realized that no longer being imprisoned did not automatically make him free. He had a difficult decision to make. He must choose freedom. “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” Mandela wrote those words years later, recalling the reality he faced upon his release. The government could free him physically from his cell, but Mandela knew only he cou...