Mindset Matters

There are a lot of things out there that can kill us, but everyone seems to be worried about just one of them right now. And while this particular risk actually seems to have a very, very low mortality rate, its greatest harm seems to come from its ability to grip us with fear. Our world right now is dominated by fear, if not sheer terror. My wife was at the grocery store the other day, walking down the aisle without a mask (cue gasps), when a mother with a small child coming from the other direction – upon seeing my maskless bride – grabbed her child and frantically pulled her out of the aisle and behind the cart. It’s as if my wife was wearing an “I’m an axe murderer” t-shirt or parked out in an alley in a windowless van trying to attract kids with a “free candy” sign. Regardless of the danger and inherent risks of the virus, this is no way to live. In fact, it’s not living at all. Living in fear is merely existing at best, and slowly dying at worst.   And guess what? We are ...

As I have mentioned before, our society is enamored by the smash hit and the overnight success. We like to see the big payoff. Furthermore, we’ve been told to “go big or go home.” This is quite evident in the movies we like and the reality TV shows we watch. It’s America, we like big! Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, many people have forgotten that starting small is not the same as thinking small. Big dreams can, and sometimes must, begin with little steps. It may be cliché, but the journey of a thousand miles really does begin with a single stride. When we forget this, we allow the sheer magnitude of a goal or a dream to overwhelm us. This can intimidate us into never even embarking on that journey. Or it tricks us into taking unnecessary short-cuts to speed up the process. Don’t be afraid to start small. Going slowly in the right direction is far better than any speed in the wrong direction.

Last night, one of my kids ran up from the basement announcing that the toilet was clogged. Expecting a run-of-the-mill toilet paper jam that happens from time to time in a house with six kids, I found a situation far beyond what I was prepared to see. The toilet indeed was not flushing, but the septic lines had also backed up into the tub in one bathroom and into the shower in the other. In the latter, the sewage was beginning to spill out of the shower and onto the bathroom floor. The brand-new bathroom floor! This was a crappy situation indeed! But that’s just how life is. Crap sometimes bubbles up in our life and we are forced to deal with it. Other times, people may throw their poo at us, hoping to see us struggle and fail. Maybe they have so much excrement in their lives, they feel as though they need to share it with us? In either circumstance, poop happens. It’s a part of life. Do you know how the pioneers got rid of manure? They had two uses for it: fuel and fer...

We must be careful what we believe. Beliefs about the world around us. Beliefs about others. Beliefs about the future. And especially, beliefs about ourselves. Now obviously, it doesn’t matter what you believe about gravity, if you jump off a three-story building and you don’t have a giant “S” on your chest, it probably isn’t going to end well. But in many instances, what you believe and perceive about a matter or circumstance can have greater weight than the actual truth. From our beliefs, our thoughts are shaped. From thoughts, our mindset is birthed. Out of our mindset, our behavior is created. Out of our behavior, our habits are formed. And our habits determine how we live our lives and the direction in which it goes. But it all stems from our beliefs. Our beliefs even mold how we interpret our experiences. Beliefs matter. Guard them carefully.

Is it just me, or does “But I don’t like ____” seem like a ridiculously silly excuse for not doing something important? Shouldn’t we have all learned by now, at least everyone over the age of three, that liking a task or activity should have very little bearing on whether or not we engage in it? I don’t like paying taxes. I also don’t like obeying posted speed limits. But I doubt, “Your Honor, I don’t like it” is going hold up well in court. I don’t like shaving, showering, or brushing my teeth either. But I do like having friends, so I try to stay up on those activities. I also don’t like eating vegetables or working out, but I was told those activities are good for my health, so I’ll continue them as well (but I am going to be very upset if research shows broccoli and spinach aren’t healthy and all that suffering has been for nothing!). You don’t like reading? Doesn’t matter. You don’t like confrontation? Who cares, not many people do. You don’t like exercise? Me eithe...

Learning and gaining in knowledge is indeed a productive endeavor. Education challenges the mind and expands horizons. It can stretch us and change what we think about. But some of the most beneficial education challenges how we think, not just what we know. One of my favorite professors in college, and possibly the best teacher I ever had, taught me a lot about mathematics and physics. But his greatest gift to me was not the new knowledge he provided me, it was teaching me how to think better and learn more effectively. Knowledge can change how well you do the thing you are trying to improve, but real learning – the kind that challenges your perspective and alters how you think – allows you to do something better entirely. It allows you to go far beyond just being better at what you were already doing. New information can help you crawl faster. But challenging how you approach the problem of locomotion – real learning – can help you stand up and run. Seek environmen...

A few days ago, I awoke early in the morning to see my three-month-old son lying next to me. At some point during the night, he had convinced my wife to bring him into bed with us, using his cuteness as a weapon, no doubt. That wasn’t an unusual occurrence. However, what made this morning different was that he was wide awake as he lay there. Wide awake and quiet! The morning light started to beam through the cracks around the blinds, and I could see his chubby little cheeks propped up on his forearms as he laid on his tummy just staring at me. When we made eye contact, his silent gaze turned into a grin as his eyes remained locked with mine. Perfectly content, he continued to stare at me with those large, Disney eyes as the grin crept into a smile that made its way up his cheeks and along his supporting arm. It was a treasured moment indeed. But also, a sobering one as I contemplated the fact this precious little child is totally dependent on my wife and me. He’s not just s...

I know some people feel like they are living in a deep, dark valley. They feel trapped. Options are limited. The only paths seem to be steep, uphill climbs. Everything around them appears to block out the light, creating an ominous and intimidating environment. There are no easy answers or level trails. Now, some people get blindsided by life and find themselves in a place like I described. Maybe it’s a sudden illness or a loss of a loved one. But a lot of folks end up in a valley by choice. It’s years and years of taking the downhill path. Taking the easy road. Refusing to climb uphill. So, is it any wonder that if one takes downhill paths long enough, they eventually end up trapped in a valley somewhere? The easy path will dead end in time, and it typically dead-ends in a dark and depressing place. Choose the uphill journey. The climb is challenging, the ascent can even be exhausting, but the freedom you will experience makes the effort worth it. The views are much b...

This past weekend we celebrated our nation gaining   independence nearly 250 years ago. Now, a quarter of a millennium later, our nation seems to view freedom as an entitlement. As if we are freedom trust fund babies and it is something owed us just because we are born here. But we are much more than passive beneficiaries of freedom. We are stewards of it as well. As stewards, we are responsible for how we wield it. We can squander it, or we can protect and nurture it. We can relinquish it or relish it. We can view it as if, because there was no cost to us, that it’s free. Or we can observe the costs others bore and understand it is priceless. Regardless of how we choose to view freedom, we are stewards nonetheless. We are accountable for how we’ve exercised our liberty and the mindset we’ve selected toward that end. Freedom is too precious to live in the self-imposed prisons of bitterness, fear, hatred, jealousy, and regret. We must live free. Our liberty was purc...

What if you ran a company, YOU Enterprises, and were responsible for everything that went on at YOU? Let’s suppose also YOU had several key employees who were obviously and unabashedly embezzling from the company without concern for the company or even trying to hide the theft. Would you just watch and let it happen or would you do something about it? Would you stand up for YOU? Each of us has a YOU Enterprises we are running, even if it is just your own life. And each of us battles embezzlement as well. But it’s not just money being stolen. It’s time. It’s motivation. It’s joy. It’s opportunity. And the worst part: we generally just stand by, watching it happen, if not actively encouraging it. Who is stealing from your personal YOU Enterprises franchise? Is it Netflix and YouTube? Your smartphone and social media? Your roommate or other friend/acquaintance? Is it an out-of-balance hobby or pastime? Is it you? Are you robbing your own corporation? Companies regularly ru...

Another prevalent fallacy surrounding excellence is that an absence of failure and dysfunction must equal a presence of excellence. It’s like the decades of psychological studies surrounding disorders: instead of studying cases of optimal psychological health and exploring that path, the field of psychology poured its resources into “curing” disorders, as if eliminating disorders was tantamount to a peak mental and emotional state. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to study disorders and disease in attempts to treat those afflicted. But it’s also dangerous to assume the absence of a disease makes someone healthy. In the same manner, the lack of conflict in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean it’s a strong bond. The lack of a physical impairment doesn’t mean you are in good shape. Not giving the wrong answer is very different from giving the right one. Just because you haven’t slipped doesn’t mean you are making progress. We must not allow ourselves to assume the abs...