Mindset Matters

It’s easy to view controversial figures in a negative light. For one, we have an innate need to “belong” and a desire to fit in with our peers. But for two, many of those seen as controversial tend to rock the boat just to make waves and seem to create controversy for its own sake as an end in itself. This is unfortunate because sometimes controversy is necessary. Sometimes the boat needs to be rocked, not for the sake of making waves, but because that’s the only way to get it out of the deceptive “safety” of the harbor and out into open waters where it can actually take you where you need to go. As a rule, most people will be average or at least clustered closely around it. They will take the easy path rather than the right one. They will choose comfort and convenience over what’s possible and purposeful. They accept long-term pain for short-term gain. In doing so, they will shortchange those closest to them and ultimately, cheat themselves. If you do take the narrow path ...

The Spartans carved their place in our history books by being some of the toughest, fiercest and most dedicated warriors the world has ever known. Masters of close-quarters combat, they studied and dissected the habits and tendencies of soldiers in battle. Coining the term roughly translated as “fighting downstream,” they labeled the tendency of a soldier to trade a few blows with an enemy before moving laterally to another opponent. The enemy combatant would usually oblige and himself also move along to engage with another foe. This process would continue with non-lethal strikes going back and forth before this dance would start all over with another participant. Although still exposed to great risk, a soldier engaged in this behavior had little potential for a successful outcome because he would rarely stay engaged with a single combatant long enough to defeat him. Furthermore, indiscriminate hacks were generally employed rather than decisive strikes as fear and the sobering ...

Field of Dreams is one of my all-time favorite movies and as I have aged, it has become even more special to me. My favorite character in that movie is Archie “Moonlight” Graham, an aspiring baseball player who gives up his dream of a major league career to become a physician. In a conversation with the main character in the movie, Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner), Dr. Graham recounts the single inning he played in major leagues, lamenting he never got a chance to bat. He then makes a statement that will stick with me forever, “We just don't recognize the most significant moments of our life while they're happening. Back then I thought, ‘Well, there'll be other days.’ I didn't realize that that was the only day.” “That was the only day.” Wow, how simple yet profound! Life seems to speed by at an ever-increasing rate and it’s so easy to be overwhelmed or just side-tracked by the pace and we neglect those precious moments that we will never get back. Lif...

To some degree or another, I think we are all guilty of allowing people to rent space inside our head. I’m not talking about the voice of a trusted friend or mentor who holds you accountable and sometimes tells you the hard truth you need to hear. That person can become the “angel on the shoulder” whose advice and influence can keep you from making harmful decisions even when they’re not present to stop you.   No, I’m referring to the negative voices from people who undermine our hopes and dreams, discount our abilities and worth, and riddle our mind with doubt. It’s the people who seem to hold us hostage by their opinions of us. And it’s not that those people are necessarily bad or evil. In fact, they are probably unhealthy and burdened down by their own fears and negativity. I feel bad for those types of people. But that doesn’t mean they get to reserve space in my head and thoughts rent-free. Consider the people in your life who get to live inside your head. Are they “...

I wanted to give a quick example of what I was discussing yesterday in Sharpening the Axe . Starting in college, I began the habit of kicking off the day with a workout and sometimes would even do a short but intense training session in the afternoon as well. At that time in my life, I was on a course to become a physician so I studied with a group of half a dozen or more highly driven and motivated students (all of whom are now currently physicians save one, and he is married to one of my classmates in the group who became a neurologist). We not only had a full load of difficult classes, but we were also involved in many other extracurricular activities such as campus clubs and volunteer groups as we built our resumes in preparation for med school applications. They were long days of concentrated effort with little time to waste. Some of my classmates couldn’t understand why I would “waste” precious time at the gym while I could be studying or doing experiments in the lab (...

Imagine you are observing a logger working tirelessly in the forest. After many hours already spent felling trees, the logger is hacking away at yet another large tree, sweating and cursing as he strikes blow after blow with his axe. After a few moments of watching the relatively ineffective hacks, you notice only minimal progress and suggest, “Why don’t you take a break and sharpen your axe?” The logger briefly pauses, wipes the sweat off his brow as he rolls his eyes and responds with, “I don’t have time to sharpen the axe, look at all these trees I still have to cut down!!!” It is obvious to you as an observer that the most efficient thing for the logger to do would be spend a few moments sharpening the axe, thus reducing the time spent cutting down the rest of the trees. Investing that time and effort in the sharpening process would actually save time and energy in the long run. However, the logger is so wrapped up in the process that this “big picture” truth is lost on h...

In Matthew, the Bible tells us if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we can move mountains. While I don’t dispute the validity of the verse, I do think that verse often becomes an excuse for passivity or written off as sensationalized optimism. Here’s the problem with how people look at that verse: we assume that with just a little faith, big things happen in a snap – just like that, the mountain is moved. Sorry guys, it doesn’t happen like that. First of all, the mustard seed, although tiny starting out, develops into a large, expansive tree. Yes, it may start small, but over time and with lots of patience, it becomes something very substantial. Your faith may start small, but it isn’t meant to stay there. It is meant to grow and mature. The other misconception is that the “mountain” is moved all at once. Whatever the obstacle is – an addiction, a disability, depression, a difficult relationship, etc – mountains are rarely moved as a mountain. Most often, they are mo...

“Boy, he sure does march to the beat of his own drum!” You’ve heard this phrase and probably even used it yourself. Sometimes, it is used in derision, sometimes in condescending endearment, and sometimes in bewilderment or confusion as we try to understand actions that seem foreign to us. But rarely do we use that phrase in admiration. We live in a fishbowl world where people put their lives on display for all to see. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is not a new thing, but it has been intensified in recent years with the booming of the internet and widespread adoption of social media. In a moment, you can peer into someone else’s life – at least the parts they want you to see – and do an instantaneous comparison with your life. While this is potentially destructive on many levels, I want you to consider the danger it poses to the beat you march to as you travel life’s path. Let’s ignore, for the moment, that following the wide path and listening to a popular drumbeat is ...

Suppose you were out camping – you know, just ‘cause you wanted to see what it would feel like to be cold, wet and covered in bug bites – and you needed to boil some water. You’d start a little fire, get your pot of water on top and slowly start to warm the water. The water starts at ambient temperature (which is COLD, because you are camping and that’s just how it works) so you don’t notice anything for a while. But that’s okay, you trust the process, so you continue to gather sticks and stoke the fire, gradually increasing the temperature of the water. Still, there is no obvious change and the water doesn’t appear any different than when you started. Undaunted, you diligently search for more sticks and add them to the fire. You notice the fire is burning larger and hotter but there is still no change in the water. It appears exactly as it did when you first started the fire. The other campers begin to ridicule you and you start to doubt the process yourself. You’ve been wor...

There were once four frogs sitting on a lily pad. It was beginning to get crowded, and they were running out of food. As conditions worsened, one frog decided to jump. How many frogs are left on the lily pad? If you said “three,” your math is correct but your behavior psychology is off. There are actually four frogs still left on the lily pad. Although one frog decided to jump, he never actually built up the courage to execute. He was waiting for a fish to give him an accurate depth of the water under him, a goose to let him know what the weather was like on the horizon and a duck to give him an update on the current status of other lily pads in the area. In short, he was waiting for the right conditions and the best plan. How often are we like that frog? We make a decision to do something or go after an objective, but when the time comes to jump, our knees buckle and our legs get weak. We wait. And then wait some more, coming up with excuses for why “this just isn’t the ri...

Ever hear someone mention a goal, idea or objective only to distance themselves from it with a comment like, “I just don’t have the plan completely figured out” as if that gives them a free pass to remain still? It even sounds rational and practical, but that line of reasoning ignores a fundamental truth: you will never have a perfect plan. It’s kind of like people saying, “we are still waiting to have kids until we are ready.” News flash: there will never be a “right time” to have someone invade your home, throw up on you, pee on your furniture and scream all night long until you have to get up for the day and only then decide to go to sleep ... well, at least for a few minutes until it’s time for them to wake up and throw up on you again. In the same way, there is no “perfect time” to set out to accomplish a major life goal. What’s more, there is no perfect plan either. It simply doesn’t exist. Like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or a free puppy, conceptually it’s a ...