Mindset Matters

Zig Ziglar has famously encouraged his audience to get what they want by first learning to help others get what they want. I am grateful I was taught at an early age that by serving others first and helping them improve their lives, I could make a better life for myself. It pains me to see how these truths seem lost in our culture today. It appears we have an entitlement mindset instead of a servant's mindset. People do very little to fill the lives of those around them and then wonder why their own life is empty. This shouldn't be. In addition to the entitlement issue is the scarcity mindset: the belief that what you have to give is a finite and fixed commodity. To have more, you must give more. To give more, you must be more. This means a commitment to a lifetime of continual improvement. If you are constantly bettering yourself - educating and stretching yourself - you will most certainly have more to invest into the lives around you. And it's easier to give of yo...

The Marines will tell you "pain is just weakness leaving the body." While this is a nice slogan, I don't completely agree. Yes, pain certainly can drive out weakness, but it must be managed and controlled. Otherwise, it may cripple resolve, poison ambitions and proliferate weakness. It's not what you experience but HOW you experience the pain that is critical. Imagine twin brothers whose parents divorce during their childhood, or maybe they even lose their parents completely in a terrible accident. One brother may become bitter and angry, upset at the world because he wasn't dealt a fair hand. This negativity permeates every area of his life and erodes his soul. The other brother has a completely different reaction. This brother learns to value life and relationships even more. The destruction he saw causes him to view the good things in his life as even more precious. He even learns to use the pain he feels to help others through their hardships. Both brot...

Later today, my three oldest kids have their first race, a "splash and dash", which is just a triathlon without the biking segment. To say they are nervous about the competition would be an understatement. They all have individually asked to withdraw their names from the race, saying they need more time to train. My six-year-old was walking around the house last night breathing into a paper bag saying, "I'm just not ready for this!" While she may be just a tad on the dramatic side, this will be the largest stage on which any of them have ever competed or performed, and they are all internally struggling with questions. Am I ready? Have I prepared enough? What if I fail in front of all those people? I think those are questions we all face throughout our lives, but too often they cause us to withdraw our names from the race. As a father, I have mixed feelings about their apprehension and doubts. Although it's not easy to see my kids struggle with anxiet...

I once heard NFL Superstar Ray Lewis say, "Greatness is a lot small things done well, day after day." It is probably my favorite definition of greatness. Greatness is certainly not an act, a moment or an event - it's a campaign. A campaign of discipline, diligence and determination. If you ask people, I'm sure most everyone says they want an amazing life, to make an impact and leave a legacy. A life of greatness. But it seems very few are willing to do the small, mundane and sometimes even seemingly insignificant things that greatness requires. We all want a life that looks like the Sistine Chapel but we ignore the fact it took millions of tiny brush strokes to get there. Maybe it's because of the commitment? Maybe we are intimidated by the work ahead? Possibly the discomfort? What is it that keeps you from creating your Art? Even Michelangelo himself was daunted by the endeavor set in front of him. Did you know he originally turned down the commission? I...

Following up on yesterday's post, I want to talk about a very specific gift: the gift of time, the gift of every new morning. The cli ch é d phrase "every day is a gift" doesn't carry the same weight I feel it should. To me, that phrase has a very deep impact. When I was 19 years old, the heat exchanger in my house cracked just a few days before my 20th birthday. I went to bed that evening like any other, not knowing carbon monoxide would be spewing out all night long. I was severely poisoned but I woke up. The recovery was long and frustrating but I was alive. It took a while, but I started to understand there was no reason for me to still be breathing and I finally started to appreciate the gift of every new day. Years later, at 34, I was diagnosed with my first deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a blot clot deep inside my calf. I was treated with blood thinners and the clot slowly dissolved. Then it happened again. And again. Three years after my first experience ...

I want to spend a little time on giftedness, on the remarkable God-given talents and abilities uniquely bestowed on an individual. I think there are two common misconceptions on this topic, one largely being connected to the other. The first fallacy is to believe an exceptional aptitude or talent is a gift for the individual possessing it. If I believe my giftedness is bestowed on me for my benefit it disrupts my entire perspective on how it is to be deployed. If my talent is intended solely to make me happy, make me powerful and bring me wealth, I will make very different decisions in wielding it than if I understand my gifts are for the benefit of others. When an individual is blessed with a uniquely exceptional attribute, she must understand that gift is to be developed and honed so it can be received by that person's family, community and the world around her. It is no longer hers; she is a steward of that gift and is responsible to make sure it is cultivated and delivere...

As a kid I was always fascinated by lions. I remember watching nature shows on an old, grainy colored TV set, and even with the less than perfect picture, I was still mesmerized by the piercing stare of those magnificent beasts. Even through the television I could see, and almost feel, the ferocity and passion radiating from their eyes. I loved reading and watching anything and everything I could on these creatures. Years after my infatuation with lions began; I finally got a chance to see a lion in person while visiting a zoo on vacation. Although it was still amazing to see a huge male lion up close and not through a fuzzy screen (sorry kids, no HD televisions back then), the experience was diminished as I looked into his eyes. The fire, the passion … it was gone! In its place was a haunting emptiness, deadness in his stare. “So, that’s what happens when you put a lion in a cage,” I thought. For years, I assumed the cage is what caused the fire inside that lion to die out...

A few weeks ago at the gym, a guy stopped me and asked me what I was training for and why I worked out so hard. I had just finished a grueling leg day, my shirt was drenched with sweat, chalk caked up with the aforementioned perspiration and blood trickled down the front of my right leg where the bar had gotten a little too close to my shin during deadlifts. I probably wasn’t fitting in with the crowd that day and this wasn’t the first time I’ve been asked those questions. Probably not the last, either. Why do I work out the way I do?!? I haven’t competed in any athletic event since 2010 and I’ve struggled with that question a lot over the years. I love it when someone comes up to me and tells me I’ve inspired them to push themselves more or to set loftier goals. That makes me really happy to have that kind of an impact on someone’s life but that’s not why I do it. I like being strong but I certainly don’t utilize my strength or athleticism during my normal day. Even when I am conscr...

Fishing is failure...mostly. The majority of casts result in the return of an empty lure, a clump of grass or a snagged branch. Yet people of all ages from all parts of the country go out and plan their weekends and even vacations around flinging a small lure into a body of water, hoping to hook something. I think we can all admit it would be easier--and probably cheaper--to go to the local market and buy some fish...but they don't. Why? Because the thrill of the catch more than makes up for all the "failed" and futile casts required to get us there. Because a fisherman understands a cast here and there isn't enough, but if he keeps putting the hook out there with diligence and determination, sooner or later he will land something. I wish more people treated life this way. We give up so quickly on things: careers, marriages, jobs, educations, and sadly, dreams. We've been duped and deluded into thinking good things should come easily and conveniently. When t...

Humans are hardwired to respond to unsafe and dangerous environments. It's a survival mechanism. The amygdala, the small almond shaped mass sitting on the bottom of both hemispheres of the brain, is always looking for the next rogue tiger or band of invading barbarians. One would think this area of the brain would settle down if we weren't under threat, but it doesn't. Just like your teenage daughter, the amygdala is quite prone to overreacting when things do go as planned. Here's the situation - not many years ago, everything involved risk. You had to risk your health and safety to chase an animal through the woods so your family wouldn't starve. You were exposed to risk working around a two thousand pound animal with hooves and horns to plow your field  ... so your family wouldn't starve. You would have also been at risk traipsing atop your roof without proper tools, safety equipment or OSHA to repair the damage from the last storm so your family would sta...