How many experiences of failure does it take before the
average person gives up on a goal or quits walking down a pathway to a desired
objective? Three times? Six times? How about less than one? Research shows that
the average quest toward a major life goal is abandoned before the first
significant setback.
How is that possible? We all hear stories of the
perseverance and resilience exhibited by people who refused to quit and
eventually saw their aspirations come to fruition. But the vast majority quit
before their first real failure.
We have learned to view failing as equal with being a
failure. One has nothing to do with the other. The first is an experience in a
moment in time. The second is a mindset.
I would venture to say someone who gives up before
experiencing a major setback has certainly failed. However, the person who
continues to get back up, learns from past mistakes, and continues to press
forward cannot possibly be a failure because she has conquered the most
dangerous dragon of all: her own fear.
But most will succumb to that dragon. The fear morphs into
anxiety and begins to control their thoughts and behaviors. Anxiety forces them
to experience failure in advance. And it is not the failure that causes them to
quit, it is the fear of it.
We must learn to view failure not as the end of the
staircase to success, but as common and even necessary – albeit painful – steps
along the way. And we must overcome our fear of the inevitable. No great
staircase of success came without many steps of failure along the way.
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