Skip to main content

The Gift of Time


Following up on yesterday's post, I want to talk about a very specific gift: the gift of time, the gift of every new morning. The clichéd phrase "every day is a gift" doesn't carry the same weight I feel it should. To me, that phrase has a very deep impact.

When I was 19 years old, the heat exchanger in my house cracked just a few days before my 20th birthday. I went to bed that evening like any other, not knowing carbon monoxide would be spewing out all night long. I was severely poisoned but I woke up. The recovery was long and frustrating but I was alive. It took a while, but I started to understand there was no reason for me to still be breathing and I finally started to appreciate the gift of every new day.

Years later, at 34, I was diagnosed with my first deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a blot clot deep inside my calf. I was treated with blood thinners and the clot slowly dissolved. Then it happened again. And again. Three years after my first experience with a DVT, a part of a new clot broke off and hit my lungs on the night of my daughter's 9th birthday, just minutes after learning my precious wife was pregnant with our fifth child.

Initially, I didn't realize I had a pulmonary embolism, but I was concerned about this because of the extreme pain in my lung and my history of DVTs. I went to the ER and was misdiagnosed. I won't get into all that, but I was sent home with an "all clear"my lungs. It was over four weeks before I was given the correct diagnosis, pulmonary embolism. I had walked around with a blood clot in my lungs, working out, running sprints and flirting with disaster every day, completely unaware. I was placed on blood thinners again, which I am now on indefinitely, and was once more reminded how precious each new day is.

Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, and those experiences were a very real and painful example of that truth. Every day is a gift from God, but how we live our life is our gift back to Him. At the end of my life, I will hand over that Gift, with no chance for finishing touches or revisions.

That thought was haunting after the carbon monoxide poisoning. My life had been selfish and "safe" up until that day. I was taking the easy path and risking very little for myself and even less for others. I knew I was not living out my purpose and not giving God a very good return on the days He with which He has blessed me. It was both terrifying and embarrassing to consider.

No more. I knew I must dare to live a life investing in those around me and sacrificing to help others achieve their dreams and desires. Those reminders of the fragility of life have remained some of the biggest blessings of my life.

If today was your last day on earth, would you be satisfied with the Gift you've created so far? Would you be proud to hand it over to your Creator? Or would you give anything for another chance to rectify a wrong, to reach out to a loved one, to put some finishing touches on your Gift, even if it was just one more day? There are many days when I don't feel like being uncomfortable, taking risks or being vulnerable. Days when it would be easier to slack off, to rest a little and be more like the world around me. But then I am reminded of the Gift. Would I be ready to hand it over yet, would I be proud of the finished product? No, there is much work yet to be done. I must do whatever I can today, because that is what I've been given.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Toxic Humility

We have all seen false humility: the guy who tries to hide his arrogance with feigned modesty. It’s usually pretty obvious and always obnoxious. But there is also another variation of false humility out there: toxic humility. This is often displayed in self-deprecating talk and a lack of self-confidence, belittling or undermining one’s own talents and abilities. The danger in this kind of behavior is twofold: it is too often accepted as true humility and like a virus, it spreads doubt and disbelief. To clarify, it is not that the bearer of this toxic humility isn’t honest about his view of himself. That is the very issue: he absolutely believes he has little value or utility. He thinks downplaying his own worth is humility but I disagree. CS Lewis said it best when he wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking about yourself less.” His point being, true humility is not an ever-present raincloud of self-doubt that follows you around. It’s a focus on
Post a Comment
Read more

Glutton for Punishment

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this
Post a Comment
Read more

Commitment

  You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more presentat
Post a Comment
Read more