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Every Morning's Battle

A few weeks ago at the gym, a guy stopped me and asked me what I was training for and why I worked out so hard. I had just finished a grueling leg day, my shirt was drenched with sweat, chalk caked up with the aforementioned perspiration and blood trickled down the front of my right leg where the bar had gotten a little too close to my shin during deadlifts. I probably wasn’t fitting in with the crowd that day and this wasn’t the first time I’ve been asked those questions. Probably not the last, either.

Why do I work out the way I do?!? I haven’t competed in any athletic event since 2010 and I’ve struggled with that question a lot over the years. I love it when someone comes up to me and tells me I’ve inspired them to push themselves more or to set loftier goals. That makes me really happy to have that kind of an impact on someone’s life but that’s not why I do it. I like being strong but I certainly don’t utilize my strength or athleticism during my normal day. Even when I am conscripted to help move a friend's piano, I could probably still manage with less strength than I have. Health and longevity is important to me, but that has more to do with how I eat and less than with what I do in the gym. I like to push myself and challenge who I am today, but it’s bigger than that as well. It’s probably a part of all these things, but still the drive goes a little deeper.

I like to train in the morning, right after the early-birds have left but before everyone else shows up--early enough that I still have my morning left afterwards as well. My gym is fairly quiet between 7am and 9am, and I can reflect on life in general. But I also force myself to endure significant, sometimes severe physical trials, even if it’s only for an hour or so. The mental game--driving myself to push forward and keep going when every muscle fiber is begging me to quit, when no one is holding me accountable but myself--might be harder than the physical. It creates a physical, psychological and even emotional battle I face every morning.

So we come back to “why,” and here it is: by 9am, when a lot of folks are just rolling into their offices and places of employment, or just getting into the swing of things at work, I’ve already won the day. I’ve already experienced the most difficult and painful part of my day, 95% of the time. It will only get easier from there. Every tough call, every difficult discussion and uncomfortable presentation pales in comparison to the battle I already fought--and won--that morning.

I cannot convince you of the freedom this creates for me, and the power released throughout the rest of the day. I’ve already beaten my doubting self, my second-guessing inner thoughts whispering, “Is it worth it? Do you really want to experience THAT? There’s an easier way. Push that off until tomorrow.”

Bestselling author, Seth Godin, calls this the “lizard brain,” and we all have it. It’s the voice that squashes our dreams and creativity, seeking to trick us into trading our potential for the semblance of safety. The toxic plea telling us to stand down and fit in. To avoid risk and pain. Unfortunately, he can’t be killed. That voice will be with you every day for the rest of your life. He can, however, be defeated, but it’s a battle that must be fought every day. One of you will win. You must decide who.

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