Mindset Matters

  You know what the problem is with a lot of goals and grand plans? They are mostly fueled by emotion rather than commitment. It is why most New Year’s Resolutions are long forgotten by now and many aspirations quietly fizzle out over time. True commitment is sticking with the effort even – if and especially when – the emotion has diminished or disappeared. Emotion can be a great initiator of action, like kindling on a fire, but it lacks staying power. Commitment is the logs that keep the fire burning long after the kindling is consumed. The butterflies after falling in love, the best intentions of waking up at 4:30am every day to work out after you join a new gym, the excitement of your first day on campus, even the sleep-deprivation induced euphoria of a new baby: all kindling. But it is commitment that keeps you working hard on the marriage twenty-three years after “I do.” It is what causes you to keep going when you do not want to make one more sales call, do one more prese...

  I believe fear is often one of the biggest obstacles to living an abundant life. While the most significant forms of fear vary from person to person, we all have our own keystone fears that trigger anxiety and paralysis. It may be fear of the opinions of others, fear of abandonment, fear of being a fraud, fear of failure, fear of loss … the list goes on and on. And we each have a demon of fear we must fight. While there are many resources available on overcoming one’s fear, I think we can confuse overcoming fear with the elimination of it. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I do not believe fear ever disappears completely. Maybe it does not cry out as loud as it once did, but fear’s whisper still remains. It might be more subtle, but the call of fear will never completely go away. We cannot completely shut it up or shut it out. If we wait for fear to be eliminated, we will always be its slave. Overcoming fear is not exterminating it, it is moving forward despite...

  It has been humorously said, there are two types of people in this world, those you can categorize and those you can’t. But as long as we are categorizing people into two camps ... First Camp: The grass-is-always-greener people. These folks are always looking for the next thing and never quite content with current circumstances. There are always reasons things are not quite working out, but if X happens or they can make it to Y, then life will take off. They may be ambitious, but may also overlook the blessings and opportunities in the moment. Furthermore, they often lack the discipline and perseverance to see things through. Second Camp: The bloom-where-you-are-planted people. This group ignores the potentially greener grass in the next field over and seeks contentment where they are. And while these folks may appear to be more content, they also tend to fall prey to complacency. They get comfortable. They get stuck in ruts. They may not have a track record of giving up beca...

  To kick-off Spring Break with a bit of irony, we received about two feet of snow in six hours last week. Yay for springtime! Anyway, my two older sons, ages ten and seven, were excited for the opportunity to earn some extra money and headed out to shovel. But upon stepping outside into the nearly waist-deep snow, their enthusiasm turned to dread as they became overwhelmed with the job in front of them. My oldest son, Bryson, said they just stood out there and stared, contemplating all the work it would take to clear the walkways and the deck. Overwhelmed and intimidated, they were not sure how to even begin such a daunting task. But something clicked in Bryson and he decided to just start digging. Yes, they had to dig down to the concrete - the snow was that deep. He said he felt like a miner! But he soon found the concrete and then began moving the snow off the path, one shovelful at a time. It was hard work, and they were out there for a long time, but eventually, the snow ...

  While I am a firm believer that a positive, optimistic mindset is a priceless asset, I am sometimes concerned when that idea is taken to extremes. I hear people talk from a Pollyanna-like perspective where they just think happy thoughts and expect everything to work out. It’s the “If I believe it, I can achieve it” mantra or the “speak it into existence” kind of thinking. I’m sorry, but I believe that is BS. Only God can speak things into existence and I am pretty sure you ain’t Him. Also, I remember one night as a small child having a dream that I could fly. It was so realistic I really believed I could fly and wanted to test out my new powers so I jumped off the top bunk. And you know what? Gravity was stronger than my belief! Faith is important. It is even vital to living an abundant life. But faith is not an escalator that we step on and it magically elevates us to where we want to be. Faith also requires fight. A fight for what you believe in. a fight for what matters in...

  In Number 13 we read the story of the Israelites as they approach the Promised Land. They had fled slavery in Egypt, crossed an expansive desert and were about to enter a land “flowing with milk and honey.” To prepare for the invasion, the leaders of the Israelites sent spies into this new land and got a very mixed report. The spies confirmed the Promised Land was in fact filled with abundance: rich farmland produced plentiful food and opportunity. But most of the spies were primarily focused on the inhabitants of the new territory: they were giants! So terrified were they of the obstacles in the Promised Land, the Israelites longed for the slavery back in Egypt over the challenges of the territory in front of them. In fact, they even concluded it would have been better to die in the bondage they had left behind than to risk battling the giants to secure the potential freedom and blessing that lay ahead. So, they made a plan to return to their chains in Egypt. Are we very d...

  Most of us have plenty of pigeons in our lives. After all, pigeons are easy to find, and they often gather in large groups, which makes them very accessible. There is a very low barrier to entry into those gatherings, so you will not be left out. Pretty much any pigeon is accepted. And you won’t have to fly very high to join them. However, the pigeon life does bring with it some serious drawbacks. For one, pigeons don’t really create much value and spend most of their time crapping all over what others have built. They aren’t very ambitious and are always looking for handouts. Pigeons are more focused on what you can do for them rather than what they can do for others. Plus, they like to hang out on the ground and thus lack the perspective that could be achieved from an elevated vantage point. We need to be seeking eagles, not pigeons. Yes, eagles will be harder to find since they don’t gather in large crowds pandering to the lowest common denominator.   And yes, they wi...

  There is a certain amount of flair that goes along with the idea of “winning at all costs.” The phrase exudes total commitment and dogged determination. It carries with it the idea of complete focus and unrelenting drive. But can it also get us in trouble? I think it depends on what “winning” looks like. Is it a promotion? A personal goal? A net worth milestone? A certain level of social or economic status? It all hinges on how meaningful and impactful the objective truly is. If the “win” is not worth the price to achieve it, winning at all costs might leave one destitute. How valuable is millions of dollars in retirement if your health is so poor you cannot enjoy it? How meaningful is the corner office at work if you go home to an empty house because you sacrificed your family to secure it? How fulfilling is social prominence if you have had to abandon your values and convictions to achieve it? When the “win” is misguided or poorly defined, winning at all costs is often ...

  My last sermon and my last presentation were not my best work. Good content. Good message. Poor delivery. They both were flat. I was relaxed. I felt confident. I was comfortable with the material. I have been trying to figure out what the issue was, and then last night I figured it out. There was something missing. Me. I was there but I was hiding. The problem? I had my armor on. There was no emotion. I put myself out there intellectually, but my heart was not exposed. That part I held back. I was not vulnerable. It started to come out once. I was speaking about my mother and how she let me feel my fear as a child, allowing me to work out my faith without bailing me out. I could feel the emotion surge through my body as I remembered the fears from my childhood well up. I can feel them even now as I write. But when I was speaking, I shut them down and got back on message. I went back to my points – the information and the data. I put the armor back on. I am smart and well ...

  Early in my career, as I was struggling to both build up my clientele and provide food for my family, someone tried to encourage me by saying, “remember, the hungry lion hunts best.” At the time, that made sense to me. And it probably even provided some much-needed reassurance. But I have since come to think differently. I was a starving lion, and I learned a few things from the experience. Hungry lions get fatigued. They become desperate. They cut corners. They make unforced errors. But fed lions have their own issues. Their satiety can turn into selfishness. They get comfortable and then complacent. These lions do not hunt well either. I believe the lion who hunts best is not the hungry lion nor the satisfied lion, but rather the lion who hunts not for himself and his own hunger, but for the pride of lions around him. His drive is not his own need for nourishment; it is the hunger of those around him that motivates him. Our world is a hurting and hungry place. Not just ...