Mindset Matters

Since we are all being inundated with bad news, hysteria and wild speculation, I thought maybe some perspective would be helpful. I still believe we live in a wonderful time, and if you give me a few minutes, I think you might even agree. Yes, this is a little long, but you are sitting at home with nothing to do, so please hear me out. Let me first take you back just over 100 years. The planet is in chaos as the Great War takes the lives of over 20 million people with casualties surpassing 40 million. Society is devastated by violence and destruction previously unparalleled in the entirety of human history. As the Great War nears its end, an even more deadly force sweeps the globe. The Spanish Flu ravages society and kills far more people than the Great War. Both highly contagious and highly deadly, the Spanish Flu becomes responsible for the deaths of 50 to 100 million lives. With a world population at about 1.8 billion, the pandemic kills off up to 5% of humanity. In cont...

It’s been said that we all live in a world of our own making. Our circumstances and surroundings are a result of the choices and decisions we make. While I certainly believe this to be true, I don’t think it applies to just our actions, it pertains to our thoughts as well. We create our world, or at least shape our perception of it, by our thoughts. Another way to put this is “What you dwell on, you dwell in.” There are plenty of bad things happening in the world today. There are countless possibilities of terrible things that might happen. But does it do anyone any good to linger on those events, whether real or speculative? I’m not promoting that we stick our heads in the sand and ignore the world around us. I don’t think we should neglect to plan for and protect against possible scenarios. But we must be careful how much time and energy is spent on such a task. Too much emphasis on the negative aspects of your life will not only blind you to the wonderful elements ...

We like to identify the antagonists in our lives. Just as in a suspenseful thriller, we try to find out who the “bad guys” are. We want to clarify who and what we are up against. All too often we get it wrong and end up fighting against the wrong dragon. We demonize a virus, a “bad market” or a weakening economy. We blame a boss for a bad work environment or a spouse for a rocky marriage. We hold our genetics responsible for our weight gain and confusing food labels for poor dietary choices (Who could know that a bunch of flour and sugar, deep fried in oil, could have so many calories?!?). We point the finger at a professor for our own bad grade. We may even think it’s the President’s or Congress’ fault that our career is stagnating. While these variables may matter and can certainly have an impact, they aren’t the most significant factor in the equation of our lives. Nor are they the enemy. To find our true foe, we must look inward, not outward. The most important and diff...

Stuck at home “social distancing” with new-found time on their hands, it seems that many are on a quest for answers. How long with this last? What are the consequences? What will “normal” look like? This has led to widespread speculation as our media is happy to provide us with theories and conjecture. No one has the answers to these questions, yet we keep asking them as confusion and fear spread faster than the virus itself. Perhaps this is a time to be asking other questions as well. Timeless questions that are not only pertinent, but necessary to consider. Questions of ourselves that can change our lives from the inside out, rather than questions about circumstances that may change our lives from the outside in. With that thought I leave you with a quote encouraging us to spend less time worrying how circumstances affect us, but instead considering how we are affecting the circumstances of others. “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing ...

I have read it proposed that the word “sincere” is derived from the Latin sine (without) and cera (wax), giving it the literal interpretation “without wax.” This comes from a time when unscrupulous sculptors would use wax to cover up imperfections and conceal damage on sculptures before selling them. The buyer would walk away with a product that looked intact, but when exposed to a heat source or even placed in the sun, the wax would melt, and all the flaws would be exposed. We live in a world with a lot of wax. We hide our flaws and conceal our weaknesses. We can put our best foot forward on social media with doctored photos and fake smiles, appearing as if we have it all figured out, but for many of us, it’s all a façade. Then the heat comes, the wax melts away and all the cracks, divots, and chips are there for the world to see. We must learn to live sincerely. We must let people know what they are getting, flaws and all, when we are in their lives. After all, our...

Human beings thrive on certainty and predictability. That’s not quite true – we don’t really thrive on it – we just crave it. In fact, science has shown that using similar physiological pathways and feedback loops, the human brain’s desire for certainty is right up there with food, sex and other primal urges. Just as these latter cravings get us into trouble, the former can as well. We often pass up or neglect what’s possible because we are hanging on to what is predictable. Even if the predictable is harmful or destructive, we choose it because it’s what we know. As the saying goes, “Better the devil that you know than the devil that you don’t.” Furthermore, we don’t want to be surprised by what lies ahead so we try to predict and model the future, borrowing trouble and feeling stress from circumstances that have not yet, and may never, materialize. We fear crossing bridges that may not even be on our path. And because humans overvalue certainty, we often pay too h...

On Monday morning I found myself at Costco getting some shopping done for my family. I knew it would be crowded in there, but I wasn’t quite ready for what I was about to experience. If you haven’t experienced Costco in the last week or so, the best I can describe it is a combination of the lines of Disneyland, the chaos of Black Friday at a busy mall and the general anxiety and agitation felt in a large international airport. Mix all that together you have the current Costco experience. As I searched the store for the items on my list, a fellow shopper looked at my cart and observed, “I see you are stocking up as well!” Annoyed that he would lump me in with the folks buying 200 rolls of toilet paper for a two-week quarantine, I matter-of-factly replied, “Nope, I have six kids. This is just a normal shopping list for me.” I had no appetite for humor, no desire for small-talk and, as I watched the checkout lines slowly stretch to the back of the store, no time to waste if I wa...

Tools are amoral, neither good nor bad. The same scalpel that can save a life, when used in the hands of someone devoid of skill and expertise can also cause great harm. The same hammer used to frame up a dream house, can also bust up thumbs and create even more serious injury as well. Your iPhone can connect you with friends and family across the globe, but it can also steal precious time and contentment from you if you let it become a distraction. The tools don’t care, they are only as helpful or as harmful as their operators wield them. Furthermore, the more powerful the tool, the more potential in either direction, both positive and negative. And of all the resources available to you, I believe your most powerful tool is your mind. It can unlock amazing ideas, unleash incredible creativity and provide inspiration for you and others around you. But it can also poison your resolve, cripple your ambition, imprison your potential and provoke severe harm for you and your loved...

When you look at a big, healthy apple tree, your eye is immediately drawn to luscious fruit hanging from the branches. What you don’t see is the root system that makes it all possible. The roots are what lie beneath the surface and nourish the tree, allowing it to produce the fruit that everyone sees and enjoys. Your life is no different. Your life produces fruit, good or bad, and that is what everyone notices. But it is your thoughts, your mindset, your perspective, your belief system and your values – your roots – that determines the quality of your fruit. It’s easy to get caught up trying to improve on the results and outcomes that your life produces – the fruit – yet ignore the roots supporting it. You may be able to achieve small, incremental and short-term improvement to your fruit, but significant lasting change will always be limited by roots supporting it. Take care of your roots!

Yesterday I took my girls to their weekly horse-riding lessons. While my seven-year-old anxiously awaited her lesson, she was kept busy with chores around the barn. At one point, I saw her trudging up a steep, snow covered hill while carrying two buckets filled with feed (or possibly poop). Although I knew the work was hard and the inclement weather wasn’t making it any easier, Brooklynn had a giant smile on her face. She was loving it! I don’t think the task itself was especially pleasurable – after all, dragging possibly excrement-filled buckets up a hill in a snowstorm isn’t really a relaxing Sunday – but because it involves her passion (horses), there wasn’t a place on earth she would rather be at that moment. Those girls spend two hours at that barn every week and only 30 minutes of it is actually riding the smelly beasts. The rest of the time is spent feeding and grooming the animals as well as significant amounts of time dealing with poop. Now, as a father with fiv...