Mindset Matters

Making a major life change is almost never a knowledge issue. No one finally quits smoking because she suddenly wakes up one morning with the realization that cigarettes are bad for her. Someone who loses 50lbs doesn’t accomplish that because of an “Ahah! Moment” after reading a Facebook post explaining that donuts for breakfast and McDonald’s for dinner are poor health choices. Logic and reason are great, but they very rarely change behavior. Altering our habits requires more than just knowledge, there must also be a burning in the soul – an emotional trigger – that ignites the fire of change. There needs to be a greater purpose. We need a “why.” Gyms are empty again by February, not because new members start doubting the health benefits of exercising, but because they’ve come up with reasons to skip workouts that are more compelling than their New Year’s resolutions. They have intellectually identified the solution, but have not engaged their hearts with the deeper purp...

Author Stephen Covey defines sacrifice as “giving up something good for something even better.” But all too often we stop halfway through that definition and perceive sacrifice as simply “giving up something good.” We miss the “for something better,” which is really the very essence of the sacrifice.   In doing so, we overemphasize the cost of what is being surrendered. We view sacrifice as if it is terminal, as if we are permanently and completely relinquishing value and thereby the transaction. But sacrifice is rarely a loss and is often a net gain. It isn’t martyrdom. It’s stepping over a dime to pick up a dollar. Unfortunately, we often do just the opposite. We fixate on the dime today rather than gaining the dollar tomorrow. And if I can take Covey’s definition a step further and enlarge it, I would venture to say sacrifice is often giving up what is desired for what is necessary. Sacrifice is sometimes more than just trading good for better, its transcending to anot...

Grind is a term and concept with many meanings and connotations. One definition is “hard, dull work” as in “the daily grind.” It can denote a chore or a drudgery. Grind can also mean “to crush or crumble; to reduce to small particles or powder.” Both of these definitions denote a wearing down, an erosion of something or someone. However, grind can also refer to the smoothing or honing of an object. The grinding of a blade smooths out the imperfections and reduces inefficiencies. In a word, it sharpens. And while the friction and the heat are certainly disruptive and harsh, the blade emerges more effective than before, with a finer edge and a sleeker shape. The “grind” in your life can be any of these definitions and it is more choice than circumstance that decides which meaning will materialize. The very events or scenarios that may crush you, reduce you to rubble and erode your soul can be the same conditions necessary to polish and hone you. The friction, resistance an...

I’ve learned over the years that being comfortable can be a dangerous thing. I try to find paths to discomfort to push me out of my realm of “safety.” However, I have noticed my ability to develop comfort zones amidst discomfort. I’ve found ways to be comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. I wonder, do I need to be stretched beyond those areas as well? One of the areas in which I have adapted to the discomfort is the gym. I don’t go to the gym to exercise, to get stronger or even to be healthier. It’s grown beyond that. Now, I go to the gym to clear my head by testing my will and resolve. I do it to see how hard I can push my limits and I strive to outwork everyone else there. I may not be the strongest, the fastest or the fittest. I may not lift the most weight or even do the most reps – I can’t control any of those variables – but I can control my effort. So one of my goals for each workout is to unleash more effort than anyone else at the gym. But along with this ...

Remember the connect-the-dots puzzles you did as a kid? At first, the page just looks like a random cluster of circles on a page, no order and no rhyme or reason. It appears to be chaos at first, other than the fact they are numbered. Only as you started to slowly work through the numbers did a picture start to emerge. Looking back at the connections between the dots, the image starts to make sense. Finally, you could see the finished product taking shape. I think life is a lot like one of these puzzles. It can feel like a random spattering of haphazard circumstances, events and experiences. The difference is, there are no numbers. We can’t often see where the next dot lies until we come upon it. Life can feel aimless and erratic as we struggle to connect the dots. I believe the dots aren’t random at all though. Each one of us has a life picture that has been intricately designed. But as an individual, sometimes all you can see are the isolated flecks scattered across the c...

The NCAA basketball tournament just wrapped up, and the NBA is drooling over the new talent they are ready to introduce into the League. Also, we have the 2019 NFL Draft at the end of the month. Over these next few weeks, there should be plenty of chatter on the television and social forums about the potential of these young athletes. No doubt, there will be several of these hopeful stars who will never live up to the expectation and the hype. They will be mocked and ridiculed as being “draft busts.” These “busts” will still be among the most talented athletes in the world at their given position. They will be the top fraction of the top 1% in their given field of expertise, yet they will be reviled as failures as the public pities the hapless team that “wasted” a draft pick. Why does a quarterback, after being drafted in the first round, become a target of criticism and labeled as a failure if he remains a backup after five years in the NFL? After all, he would likely ...

The next time you are at Target, Walmart or any retail store, or even a gas station for that matter, walk right up to the register and ask for change. Don’t buy anything, just request your change. The cashier will probably look at you in bewilderment wondering if there is a hidden camera somewhere. Why? Because it’s understood that change is produced only after you pay for something. In any cash transaction, payment must be made before you receive your change. It can’t happen in reverse order. If I may employ a little play on words, I would like to state that change in your life only happens after you pay the price as well. Any positive change in who you are or where you are in life will only come as a result of you first making a payment. There is a transaction that must take place before change is experienced and that often means you giving up something you currently value. Don’t hope for change, pay for it.

It’s hard to spend much time out in public without seeing someone struggling with a disability. Whether it’s a physical handicap like paralysis in an appendage or a mental limitation such as a chromosomal disorder, when I experience someone struggling with a disability, there is a significant emotional response and I can feel an immediate tug at my heart. I also tend to feel helplessness in not being able to relieve that person of their struggle. I wish I had a cure. I remember a very specific time when I was about three or four years old at a basketball game. The game had ended and there was a boy just a few years older than me coming down the steps from above me using a cane. But instead of using the cane to brace his weight, he was moving it back and forth, gently tapping the steps as he came down. “What is he doing with that stick?” I asked my mom. “He is using that cane to feel his way down the steps,” She answered. “That boy is blind, Chad.” That last phrase cut me ...

There is a destructive voice inside each one of us that promises safety and comfort, but ultimately only leads us astray. Renowned author Steve Pressfield calls this voice The Resistance. As I have mentioned before, The Resistance is the voice that compels you to avoid or at least put off the uncomfortable things that must be done. It pressures you into staying quiet in a meeting when you know you should speak up, to stay in bed when you are supposed to workout, to check your Facebook one more time when you need to begin the project and to avoid your coworker because you don’t want to have the difficult conversation. It’s the voice that keeps the writer from writing, the singer from singing, the artist from painting and the musician from making the melodies she was meant to share with the world. The Resistance strives to keep us from what we are supposed to do and who we are designed to be by tempting us to chase comfort and predictability. The Resistance is relentless and cr...

Between reality TV, social media and the never-ending news at your fingertips, many of us live a life of comparison. We seem more consumed with planning our lives based on what others have than aligning our lives to what we need and are called to do. We are a society fixed on “keeping up with the Joneses” now more than ever. We’ve all probably been told to not worry about keeping up with the Joneses, but I think we need to go beyond that. Not only should we not be concerned with pacing ourselves with them, we shouldn’t even be on the same path as the Joneses! Everyone puts their best foot forward in posts, tweets, twerks, whatever, but in reality, the Joneses' path is often headed off a cliff or towards a dead end at best. People are drowning in debt, stressed out, unhealthy, stuck in jobs that rob their souls, and limp along in crippled relationships. Trust me, you want nothing to do with the race the Joneses are running, much less keeping up with them. You must travel in ...

If you were forced to categorize each person you know, you could probably separate everyone into two basic groups: those who wait for rain and those who dig wells. I will also go so far as to guess most would fit into the former group. Those who wait for rain are more passive. They may be fraught with activity but are largely waiting for some outside influence or event to change their circumstances. They believe – or at least behave as if – they are a captive audience, at the mercy of the randomness and uncertainty around them. As they suffer through the inevitable droughts in life, these people wonder in frustration why the rain hasn’t come. Then there are those who create wells. Rather than watch for rain and helplessly wait for things to happen to them, these people will pick up a shovel and dig. They understand God controls the seasons in their lives, yet they also recognize their own responsibility for action. They realize each person starts at different levels and ...