This past weekend my family started decorating the house for
Christmas. The kids brought all the boxes and totes out of storage and my wife
started planning out how to set up the room. As the work continued, I realized
I was becoming uncomfortable with all the limitless possibilities in the
decorating process. The placement of the tree, the locations for garland and lights,
even where the ornaments would be placed on tree; there is no definitive “right”
answer for any of those decisions. Feeling somewhat aimless, I opted to finish
the dishes and do the laundry, tasks that were more defined with specific,
measurable progress and end points. I later realized I was fleeing ambiguity.
Isn’t this the fear from which so many run? It’s not really
the fear of failure or even uncertainty – although I’m certain these sources of
fear are all connected – rather, it is the fear of ambiguity. It’s not that we
are afraid of the path ahead or unsure of where the path might lead, the fear
comes from the fact that there is no path and we must create one. Perhaps this
is why it’s so difficult to start a business, write a book, paint a picture or
compose a song. When there is no “right” answer and the problem isn’t clearly
defined, the blank page, the empty canvas and uncharted trail can be terrifying.
The “white space” can be overwhelming.
Failure is painful. Uncertainty is intimidating. But neither
of these really scare me like they used to. However, I realized something about
myself this weekend: it’s the ambiguity of limitless possibilities with no “correct”
solution that truly frightens me. While I certainly have not discovered the solution,
at least I have begun to define the problem.
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