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Today's Battle



Today is one of those days I feel myself struggling against the voices. It’s not like I’m Ray Kinsella listening to voices from his cornfield though. In fact, these aren’t external voices telling me to do something irrational like build a baseball field. No, these voices are the ones inside my own head, and they are quite rational, making them even more reasonable and convincing. And thus, dangerous.

It’s the voices telling me I should relax and rest. They’re asking me to stand down; to pace myself and not push as hard. They’re saying I’ve fulfilled my quota. That I’ve done enough. They’re compelling me to stay inside the wire where it’s calm. They’re reminding me I don’t need to grind anymore; my family is taken care of and I’m comfortable. They won’t say it so bluntly, but what the voices are asking for is complacency.

Although it feels more of a battle today than usual, I am reminding myself I am here to fulfill a calling, not a quota. I may be comfortable, but there are others out there who are struggling and need what I can provide. If I don’t provide that encouragement and guidance, who will? Doing just enough is never enough.

No, it’s not that I have a savior complex. It’s not arrogance. It’s not even self-importance, just the realization I have been given a gift, not to selfishly hold onto it inside a comfort zone, but to share with the world around me. Although it’s different for each one of us, we all have a gift designed to be shared, not for our well-being, but for the people it touches.

So, for me, it’s one more phone call. One more email. Initiating one more conversation to encourage someone else and bring joy into their day, or at least take away some of their burden. It’s resisting the urge to stop when I have found comfort and instead, going forward until I’ve aided others in finding it themselves. That’s my battle today.

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