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When to Quit


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Yesterday morning I sent my eight-year-old son, Bryson, to take the trash out to the street for weekly pickup. While that job didn’t used to be a big deal, we recently moved and our new driveway is about 200 feet long. It is also new construction so the driveway is unfinished, and instead of a nice paved path, it’s gravel, rocks and small boulders. Oh, it was pouring rain as well. He looked like Noah out there maneuvering the trash bin down the driveway, and not just because of the downpour, but also because that trash bin is HUGE – like a small ark. And it’s one of those special bear-proof trash cans, so it’s heavy, bulky and unwieldy, not to mention completely full. 

After a few minutes, I noticed the trashcan still hadn’t made its way to the street, so I looked out to see if Bryson was still working on it. The poor guy was still at it, soaked in the rain and struggling to plod through the mud as the trashcan was getting hung up on large rocks. I wanted to go out and help him … but it was cold and rainy so I stayed inside where it was warm and dry. Just kidding. Well, I still didn’t help him, but it was because I wanted to see what would happen. I wondered if he would get frustrated and give up. Yes, I do psychological experiments on my children – sue me.

As he finally neared the street, I walked out to check on my son, getting to him just as he positioned the bin at what would have been curbside if we had curbs (and I was also in time to miss all the work). He was drenched in rain and had been at this for a while, so I wanted to encourage him with some praise in case he was frustrated with the task, “great job, that was a lot of work!” He turned toward me and as I saw a huge smile come across his face and he responded with, “thanks, dad! I don’t know if I’ll be able to use my arms the rest of the day (as he wiggled them as if they were noodles coming out of his shoulders), but I got it!”

I was so proud, not only of his perseverance in the task but also his attitude in the work, that I addressed it again this morning. I explained how impressed I was with his follow-through despite the obstacles and then asked him if he had been frustrated. He acknowledged that as he kept stubbing his toes on the large rocks in the driveway and as the bin kept getting stuck in the numerous mud puddles that had invaded our driveway, he had gotten frustrated, but he was determined to finish the job. I explained to him a lot of people would have been overwhelmed and quit. Bryson nodded, but then he looked me dead in the eye as he raised a clenched fist and pumped it in the air a couple times as he proclaimed, “I don’t quit until I’m done!” Another smile took over his face as his eyes lit up. What a phenomenal attitude to have!

Now, I don’t pretend to know what I am doing as a father and I sure do get confused and frustrated at times, but I must have accidentally done something right! I am so proud of that young man and very grateful to be his father.  


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